let it snow

I am enjoying the snow, as I sit here in the cozy house...thinking about how I have to get out and go work for a few hours in a little bit. But, once I get home tonight, I will be inside until wednesday. A whole day to be inside, finish some things for this weekend, baking and projects, get some cleaning done and of course snuggling. The only thing that would make tomorrow better is if we get so much snow that Nick gets to stay home too! :) hehe I'm sure it will just snow a regular amount, nothing too bad. But, at the rate it is coming down now, who knows! Guess we will see! 

So many things have been going thruogh my mind lately, like what gifts I have forgotten, what else I need to make for snack a thons and family gatherings, and all the stuff I have to get done for my friend's wedding next week. whew! The MAIN thing that has been taking up residence in my mind is the fact that I am soooo ready to start a fresh year! Here is my list of my 2012 goals and project ideas! Enjoy?!

Kitchen update!! 

        Paint, new backsplash, paint all hinges and handles, new flooring and shelving.

Utility area update!

         new shelf, artwork, lighting, soap dispenser, and organization. 

Living room!

         keep furniture arrangement, but update decor, get rid of old pieces I don't like, simplify.

Bedroom!

         Finish headboard and footboard, find different chest of drawers, clean out closet, buy new sheets                    and possibly a new comforter

Ava's room! 

         Rearrange her furniture, clean out closet, create a play area for her in her room.

Plant a garden! A small vegetable garden in our back yard! We'll see how it goes! 

Put up a clothesline in the backyard as well, to reduce our dryer use in the summer! 

And here is the kicker!!! My huge goal for our house/family, etc is to build a room in our garage as an office/music room!!! I am really hoping that we will be able to tear down some old shelves in the garage and use that area to build a room! Our garage is quite spacious and I think this will be a great addition to the house and the garage. It will open up space for us in the kitchen, to get rid of our "office" in there and we will be able to put nick's drums, the office desk, guitars, amp, art stuff, etc!!

I will want to do a picture diary of it all so stay tuned! 

That is a list of remodels, repairs and updates! My goals for this year are as follows! 

Continue on my health journey! (lost 4 lbs so far)

        Eating within my calories per day, working out every week day

Create and put in place a weekly cleaning schedule for the house so each day I have a few things, not one day a week trying to catch up on everything. Also a monthly schedule of big cleaning projects to keep the house updated and kept. (carpets, curtains, etc)

This whole post is a compilation of very earthly and personally driven almost selfish goals/projects, but I feel that they will improve our home and our family's lifestyle. My spiritual and inward goals will take up whole other post entirely. :) 

much love,

shaina

Merciful Rain

Let the Holy Spirit come over you now
As the healing rain falls from the clouds
There is nothing you can do to deserve it
You don't have to earn His love
Let the rain fall from above

Merciful rain falls over the children
Merciful rain falls over the children
Merciful rain falls over the children of God
Over the children of God
Merciful rain falls

See the Holy Dove descending over you now
Feel the Living Water cleansing your soul
In the name of Jesus you have been forgiven
You have been redeemed forever
Fix your eyes on Heaven 

Today has been a whirlwind of crazy, emotion, clumsiness, tears, prayers, frustrations, lack of sleep, a million things going on in my head and finally an enormous and sudden smack on the face to focus me again. Thank you Lord?? 

2:34am- Ava wakes up....(she has been sleeping so well for months, so this was odd) I get up and try to console her and put her back to sleep.

3:00am - she's back to whining and I respond to her and try again to get her to go back to sleep. 

3:16am- I finally give up and take us both to the recliner in the living room and go to sleep with her there. 

8:00am- wake up and get her changed, fed.

9:30- Ava goes down for a nap. yay!!! hurry up and get a 10 min workout in (they are amazing by the way www.revelationwellness.org Check it out!! Christian wellness and fitness! 

9:45- Ava wakes up. At least I got a work out in. I rush to at least try to wash my hair and dry it.

10:15am - with freshly styled hair, even though Ava has been demanding my attention, I finally get her, pick her up, hold her and she calms down for a bit. Then she just starts to get fussy and nothing really gets her to get back to her happy self. I had already felt tired, cranky, and frustrated and now I could feel myself getting an attitude. Terrible of me, but true. I was frustrated and just wanted Ava to be her happy self so I could get at least a few things knocked off of my list, ever growing one at that, of things to do, accomplished. So, I let her play on the floor for a little while, before you know it, she's upset again. Ok ok...so I pick her up again and entertain myself for a moment by getting on Facebook on my phone. I had an update on our church page about our sweet friends The Taylors. William is there son and he is 4. He has a brain aneurysm and is in Dallas right now. Things are very serious and could take a very rapid turn in either good or bad direction. All of a sudden I realize. Shaina, what are you thinking? Where is your heart? What is your focus? What is your purpose this day? Is it to finish a list? Is your goal to accomplish a few chores so that  you can somehow feel better about yourself? Is your goal to make sure Ava is attended to, just so she won't be cranky? Are you being a mother of grace and patience? OR are you being wasteful of your time with your 6 month old? Why would you waste precious time being selfish and frustrated with your baby girl (and yourself for that matter) when there are precious people on their faces for their son's life. Get a grip Shaina. Be humbled and hold your baby tight. Pray for William, his mom Jenny and dad Roland, his three older brothers. Pray pray pray. 

Nick got home and I quickly ran to the store while he was here to watch Ava for a minute. I quickly got back and updated him on william and the situation. He leaves to go back to work and I start getting the things in the kitchen done (ava had fallen asleep again when I got back) As soon as I started getting things done in the kitchen, she wakes up. I felt frustrated and interrupted again. Really shaina? Didn't we just have this talk, you and me, the Lord says to me. Yes, we did. So I pick her up, hold her tight, and we play for a bit. She starts to act tired again and so I change her and get her to sleep for her afternoon nap. She's sleeping sweetly right now, in her crib, and I got some things accomplished. God knows my heart. 

He knows my humanity fails me often. He knows that my desire is to be His, to be a faithful, healthy, wife and mother. He knows I struggle with busy-ness and lists. He even knows that deep down I want to sit and snuggle all day with Ava, but it's not always possible. He knows that I ache inside for Jenny, as a mom, I can't imagine watching my baby hurt and struggle to get well and not get any closer to being well. 

All of that rambling to say...I NEED Christ. I NEED his mercy. I NEED his grace. constantly. every minute. I try so hard to do things on my own, even after having a very blunt reminder this morning from my sweet Jesus. I cannot breathe without Christ. I cannot function at all, much less, abundantly and wholly without Him. His being, his person, his essence. 

Forgive me Father for being so selfish. so wrong. so disobedient. Help me to live in your mercy, walk in your grace and serve you, my husband and my sweet baby as you serve me. 

blessings all,

shaina

p.s. please please please be in prayer for William and his family. Go to facebook and search prayers for william for updates. Thanks! 

Precious

Sometimes I drive too fast
Sometimes I risk it all
Sometimes I'm reckless
And act like I'm made of steel
But I'm just flesh and bones
A product of the Fall
Still I have purpose
And this I know to be real

Life is precious, life is sweet
Like the earth beneath my feet
Though I know I'm passing through
I know I belong to You
Life is precious, life is sweet
And this truth makes it complete
Knowing Jesus died for me
Life is precious
Life is precious, life is sweet

I can't see past myself
When I get depressed
I take for granted
This life You've given me
There are a million ways
I've been so richly blessed
I can't imagine
Not being able to see

And this life I live in the body
I live by faith in the One
Who gave Himself for me

That is a really old song that I remember singing in youth choir, a million years ago. There was a sweet boy, that I didn't know well at all, but we share an Uncle and and Aunt. My Uncle Brad (on my mom's side) has a brother and his family that live in Odessa. They have 3 children. 2 girls and 1 boy. Carson, the middle and the only boy, took his life this weekend. It was a complete shock to his family. I had met Carson once, when he was tiny, and did not know him really, especially in the last few years of becoming a teenager, learning to drive, getting a first job, etc. I cannot imagine how much sorrow is filling his parent's heart. Just overhearing my aunt talking to my mother when she called was enough to make my heart cringe and my mind fill with the "what if's". What if someone new he was hurting? Did he know he was hurting? Was he getting any help? Was he being bullied? He was an avid hunter, as far as I know and was well aware of gun safety. I cannot fathom the hurt and pain he must have been going through to get to the point he did. I hurt for his parents as they will forever question and wonder about what led their precious son to end his life. My heart and my prayers go to them. I cannot get them off my mind. I know the Holy Spirit is praying for them with words that I cannot express.

Today has been an interesting, but good day. :) Church was a wonderful time of worship, fellowship and Dale shared a message that spoke straight to my heart. Faith is obedient. Period. Always. The mountain I'm facing is still a mountain, but the faith and power I feel inside to climb it is bigger and ready to go. Thank you Dale for being obedient to share the Word, the wisdom God has poured over you and for being real with us. After church, we came home and had home made chicken soup and then Nick got to working on our main bathroom toilet. I know you're jealous. I won't go into unnecessary details, just know that I am so thankful and proud of my husband for being "handy manny" and saving us money by doing it himself, even through the turmoil and frustration of it. ha! We have had a nice snuggly evening by the fire, watching a movie and enjoying the quietness (besides the occasional, ba ba ba, from ava). Life is precious. Life is sweet.

blessings,

shaina

5 Minutes 5 Months

June 9, 2011 was an incredibly crazy day. I drove myself to the dr for a regular appt, well I was on bed rest at the time so it was a bit irregular, but none the less, an appt. We even had a sono before the appt. Nick went back to work after the sono and I went to my appt. Dr. Chandler said my blood pressure was still high and sent me to BSA for monitoring. Well, about 6 hours later we had Ava Renee'. 5 weeks early, but by God's grace that 5 weeks early was right on time. She had her cord wrapped around her neck a few times when they got her out during the c-section. Imagine if Dr. Chandler had sent me home. I don't like to imagine that, so I don't. I choose to thank the Lord and praise Him for an amazing little girl, who I get to call my own. He has let Nick and I borrow her for this time and we are beyond grateful. There have been some crazy moments and days since her arrival. She was admitted to the hospital around 8 weeks for a UTI. That is when we found out she has a kidney reflux and she is on medicine to help her body stay infection free and when she is closer to a year we will see if she needs a corrective surgery. We are trusting the Lord in this and know surgery or not He is in control. :)

I have been able to stay at home with her from day 1 and that itself is a huge gift from the Lord and it is also, honestly, a huge accomplishment and direct blessing of being smart with our money, living within our means our entire marriage and trusting the Lord that the time will be right to "move up" and enjoy bigger and better things financially. For, right now, we are to learn, grow and be discipled in the small things like living with less, making the most of our money, continuing to trust as we tithe (since day 1 of our marriage we have been united in this and it is being blessed every day) and learning that simplicity is allowing us to be closer to God, closer to each other and better people period. Simplicity is a blessing. It is something that amusingly does not come "simply" or easily. It is something that takes making the right choices, no impulse buying or spending, and when we do come across a blessing in the form of "green agape" as my daddy puts it, to be wise with it, thankful for it and to make the most of it. God is faithful to us.

I hear a lot of people say, "God will provide God will provide for all of my needs, he is testing me in this by allowing me to this that or the other". I'm not sure I completely agree. I do believe the Lord tests us and teaches us through lessons. I believe that God provides for his children. I also believe that the Lord has very specific instructions about finances, about home living, about our rolls as spouses, as parents and ultimately as His children. There are things that people claim and name and it drives me crazy when they do that and then goof off by not showing up for work, being defiant in their obedience to God in tithing, worship, marriage, parenting, etc. It is not easy to be obedient in pretty much anything, but it is worth it. It is not easy to always respect my husband, but it is worth the occasional biting of my tongue to let him know I submit to his Godly authority and trust his leading. It is not always easy to be quiet or humble or gentle, but it is God's command to me as a woman, a wife and a mother. Self control is not an easy task for anyone I think, but it is something God has set in place for us as believers for our good. Ultimately for His good.

When will we, as believers, as followers, be real with ourselves and each other? When will Godly living be a priority instead of getting the latest game, priciest SUV, biggest house or designer shirt? really. I'm baffled by our lack of priority. When do we quit assuming it is the church's job to raise our children in the Word and make it a priority in our home to read the Word and teach the Word and mainly LIVE the Word to our children? which first takes us reading the Word. When will we as Christian wives encourage our husbands daily by our words and our actions and mainly our attitudes? When will Christian men stand up for their wives and fight for them as they battle self esteem, weight, and significance issues? As Nick and I have grown in our marriage, now into parenthood and in ministry I am aware of how blessed I am to have a husband who continues to learn and want to learn how to better himself as a person, man, husband and father. As a woman, wife and mother I hope that it is obvious that I desire to grow, to be Godly, gentle, self controlled in speech and action, to raise my child in the Word and display grace to her.

ALL of this to say that you can have a full time job, a family, hobbies, ministries, a church home, etc and live simply. It is possible, it takes effort, but you don't have to be friendless, depressed and poor to live simply. But, you can have a crazy schedule and be fooling yourself, thinking you have a full life, rich life, so busy and happy, but what worth do all of the "things" have in your life? How many things are your kids involved in or are you involved in that have no value....how deep does the Word and worship run in your home? Just questions and thoughts that have been stirring in my head. Things God has been convicting me of in this last 5 months of motherhood. I had been asking the Lord to refresh my mind, my heart and my relationship with him and he gave me a daughter.

Blessings,

Shaina

First Snow Cinnamon Rolls

Yes, it has been this way my whole life. The first snow of the season comes with one thing. Cinnamon rolls. Mom always made them on the first snow. Always. It was as if she was going to get in trouble for not making them. Which she might have gotten in trouble from Mimi because Mimi taught mom to make them on the first snow. AND before Mimi, Meemaw taught Mimi how to make them for the first snow. Meemaw was Pawpaw's mother (my Mimi's mother in law). She made the recipe and it, to this day, is the best cinnamon roll recipe ever. Ever. I will not make another one. This is it.

So, today it snowed. A lot, especially for October! So, Ava and I made cinnamon rolls. Well, she slept most of the process, but every first snow, she will know that we are making cinnamon rolls. I hope someday, she'll keep it going. 5 generations of cinnamon roll making. So sweet in so many ways.

blessings and stay warm!

shaina

someday it will stick

It seems that I always get these great ideas, goals and "this week it is going to happen" motivations on Sunday nights. For some reason I think that I can solve the world's problems, lose 20 lbs, clean my house til it reeks of perfection, be cute, act sweet, have all the creativity in the world, blah blah...for some reason I just get so motivated in my head on sunday nights and then Monday morning comes....

Monday morning comes and all I can think about is getting my Dr.Pepper on the way to Canyon to do chores and mimi and pop's, in which I forgot to do their laundry this weekend, so I had to quickly go throw it in the wash first thing this morning, I have no desire to be "cute", put on makeup or do my hair....so I just throw on a hat and figure since it is just mimi and pop's house I can get away with looking and feeling grubby. I still have in the back of my mind, "you should drink lots of water today, eat less, go for a walk, make the bed, pick up the junk around the house, do the budget, wash the dishes, etc etc.

I wonder how to funnel all of my thoughts into habits, into disciplines, instead of really lofty thoughts and ideas that haunt me all week....

When do little things like taking vitamins, drinking water, exercising and daily chores become second nature, or will they always be hard? I can visualize myself being healthy, trendy, creative, active, etc etc, but monday morning always shows up. It dampens my Sunday night dreams and thwarts all of my "grand plans for success" that I have mustered up in my head.

Somehow, someday, I will figure out how to wake up on monday morning, just as excited about my goals and dreams as I was on Sunday night.

Please Lord, help me on this! I need my Monday-Saturdays to be as determined as my sundays....

blessings y'all,

shaina

October has almost passed us by...

Woah! October is half way over. I am just now getting to a new blog and we have had such an eventful month! October started off by serving on the Kairos Prison Ministry weekend #27. It was an amazing weekend. Ava did great staying out at De Falco Retreat Center with us! We brought her pack and play and she just slept great, was a doll the whole time and got to enjoy some wonderful time with her Kairos Family and her first experience in ministry. I am thankful that our daughter is getting her first taste of ministry before she can even sit up on her own. :) God is good to us. PICTURES look at some of the pictures I took. I am so thankful that my little family is so focused on the Lord and serving him. We don't always do it right, we surely struggle at trusting him fully, but we are trying our best to raise Ava in a home and environment of service, of love and of grace. I am so thankful that Nick and I are on the same page as parents and that our hearts are one in this goal.

We have also been continuing to go through Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. It has been really good for us and has focused our efforts to finish paying off debt, school loans, etc. and educate us on investing for our future, and preparing for our next home, etc. I suggest ALL newlyweds read it and get organized financially before diving into marriage. I also suggest that ALL couples in general read it. It is so good. It is easy to understand and it works. One of the reasons that I think this book is so successful and is getting Nick and I so excited about paying off our debts, is for one, we both believe that being in debt is many ways sinful. Proverbs 22:7

Nick and I have been convicted of this and desire to not live in idolatry to debt and what it brings. We have the "typcial" debt. School loans, 1 credit card and our car payment along with our mortgage. Mortgages are very typical debt and 1 that seems to always be a part of our lives, but the other debts we have are needing to go and not continue to hold us down any longer. God is so good to have Nick and I on the same page on this as well. Not to say that it has been an easy ride so far, but we have grown closer in our marriage, our finances (especially being a 1 income household) are tight but work and we are finding ways to start snowballing the debt we have. So glad to have a husband who does not want to spend money we don't have on things we don't need. I have to say that finding frugal ways to celebrate, decorate and gift give are actually fun and have been a great creative outlet for me.

Ava has been doing lots of new things, lots of slobbering, chewing on things, growing into new clothes, had her 4 month check up and shots and had a clear UA test at the urologist last week. Praise God! We are thankful for no UTI's since that first one and we are still giving her the antibiotics every night. They are keeping her infection free without making her dependent. She gave us a little scare last night with a bout of high fever, but is doing better today. Thank the Lord! I am so thankful for his provision and for me being able to stay at home and be with her every day. I don't have to worry about missing work, etc etc. I can just be here for her. She is getting so much more animated and laughs more. We are working on sitting up on our own and rolling over...she sure hates tummy time, but she tolerates it here and there, long enough to work on getting her head up, etc.

Lauren took her pictures a few weekends ago and they are precious! Check out my facebook page to see them!

This weekend Lauren and I are going to have some craft time. I'm excited to get some of the gifts on my list made and spend time with my sweet friend. God is too good to me when it comes to her and her husband. We are edified, prayed for, encouraged by them and we laugh a ton and enjoy each other so much. Nick and I are so blessed to have them in our life and we are anxious to see where God takes them and what He does in their life in the next year. So much going on there! :) wow!

Ava is still napping, cookies are out of the oven (don't substitute margarine for shortening) blah!! Suppose I should get mimi and pop's laundry done and a little bit of our own laundry while I'm at it. Snuggly evening at home tonight, once nick gets home. Mac and Cheese, baked potatoes and veggies. I love home.

Guess that is all for now. Blessings.

Shaina