Tuesday tidbits...

Well, I don't have a lengthy post about something profound or mind staggering information to share with you...I just got Ava down for a nap and I don't feel like finishing as many chores as I can in the amount of time that she sleeps, instead I feel like saying a few things. I know, I need to get up and go, but for now, here is what I call a quicklist. My quick list of things I'm doing, things I like, things I don't like, etc for this day.

Snow, random.
Snuggly day inside!
Finished our taxes.
Ava actually did good laying in her bed for nap. hurray!
Should be doing these chores:
make bed, pick up our bedroom, dishes, pick up living room, a few bills to pay.
I have to work tonight, just 4 hours, but sometimes those hours feel like days. ;)
Supper ideas? I'm stuck for tonight....what could I possibly make with the random things I have in my pantry/fridge/freezer...that might be a whole other blog. haha
Ready for this weekend's marriage conference. Nick and I should practice our skit. :)
Date night saturday night!
Designing at the floral shop sunday-tuesday of next week for v-day. yay extra money!
Nick's birthday is this month
Angel Fire next month!! Yay, I haven't been anywhere since before Ava was born...like over a year ago! YAY VACAY!!
Guess that's all for now..

shaina

So many choices...

Well, here I am, so many things being thrown at me yet again, to put my heart, time and creativity into. I'm a bit overwhelmed at the thought of them all. I have desires to minister, work for my family, and then this other things has been thrown at me again. I've been a mary kay rep since 2010. December of 2010. I have been selling, but not doing parties or anything since around May of last year when I was put on bed rest. I feel like people think Mary Kay ladies are the most annoying people on the planet and I don't like to be considered one of them, but I love the product and like to be able to provide it for people. Such a dilemma because I don't particularly like parties and facials, but I love clean, healthy skin and I love simple, good quality make up. SO, here is my decision.
If you love good product, like Mary Kay and want to buy it without being haggled for a party or free facial, CALL ME, email me, facebook me etc. I can accommodate you and not bother you. haha! I really need to see if people are interested in this. Thanks :)

A New Look

I have been trying to put up a new post for a few weeks now. For some reason I was having technical difficulties with this certain blog site, a 7 month old was calling for me and the house needed MUCH attention post holiday. Really though, it feels good to sit here and reflect a bit. So much to catch up on, this might be a long one...

So, let's start with before Christmas. I am a good planner, in theory, but sometimes, well, most of the time I have a hard time following through. That goes for most things in my life. Sad to say, but it's true. I have lots of grand ideas for organizing, planning, gifting, cleaning, blah blah. I get my favorite notepad, make a list and then it gets laid to rest somewhere under a pile. Poor list. It feels so needed and useful and then I toss it away. See, I had this grand plan to get Christmas gifts all done, wrapped beautifully and that each gift would be something fun, realistic and a lot of them, hand made. I made a list of all the people we "drew names" for and all the other family members and friends I wanted to share with. Then I found some great Pinterest ideas, made a list of supplies and got so excited! That is where it ended though. I sat it aside, first of October and then didn't really look at it until Thanksgiving. EEK! No time, or money saved to get this done! RR! So frustrating. So, this Christmas was a hodge podge of various gifts, gift cards, blah blah. I felt real bad inside, but I also knew that the gifts, handmade or not, DID have thought and care in them and as a one income household, budget was going to be an obvious obstacle and so they weren't the most expensive either. None the less, Christmas isn't about the gifts right? It's about THE gift? cheesy? ya. I felt rushed the whole season. We were gone from church 2 weeks out of the month of December, there were no homegroup gatherings all month, I was working a few nights a week, between all the parties, events and nights of trying to "get it together". ha! It was a big blur!!! My prayer and goal for Christmas 2012, is to 1. be prepared, 2. budget all year for it, 3. BE THOUGHTFUL AND MINDFUL OF THE SAVIOR THROUGH IT ALL. The new year could not come soon enough, December 31 was this beacon of light and hope that I was longing for!

So, New Year's Eve comes along and I tried to get a blog up....my annual blog. My resolutions, goals and reflections blog. Well, my blog site was being a pain and there was no way to update or blog at all. It was a sad day. Seemed like the whole holiday season, even this ray of light was now dimmed. haha. Nick played drums that weekend at church and so after church on New Year's Eve, we went to dinner together, (giftcards ARE a good gift for the W's) just sayin. I had a 100 calorie margarita (whole other blog) and we  just had a great time to visit and enjoy each other, along with our sweetheart of a baby, Ava! She did so good! (again, another blog in itself). So, we went home after dinner, and get this!!! My best friend and her husband come over, and she helps me take down and pack away all of my Christmas decor!!! No kidding. It was a pleasant and much appreciated surprise because it had been looming over me since the day after Christmas, but with my other sweet sweet friend's wedding, there was no time! SO, just that simple act of getting the decorations put away, made my whole demeanor and attitude towards 2012 that much better!!!! We rang in the new year with our favorite couple and it could not have been more simple or more enjoyable. Thank you Lord.

New Year's Day was a wonderfully, simple day at home getting my house put back together and cleaning out decor I didn't want anymore, etc.

Since the weeks after Christmas were busy, my new year's blog got put off because of technical problems...I'm going to take a shot at it. (by this time, if you are still reading you are crazy, bored, or oddly enough, truly interested in me and my rambling, go figure!) hahaha!

So long 2011!
I loved you because:
I experienced pregnancy
I was showered over and over with blessings, baby gifts and love from so many
Nick and I were able to serve on 2 kairos weekends (both with Ava- one in utero and one along with us in person) :) hehe
WE HAD AVA!! She is the light of our life and makes us better people. She is a precious gift and we love her beyond measure!
I began a new career as a stay at home mother and home maker. I LOVE IT! I AM SO BLESSED!
Nick got a nice raise and I took up 2 small jobs on the side to help sustain our needs.
My sweet friend Gina got married!
So many blessings, adventures and good things happened in 2011! It was truly an awesome year!

Hello 2012!!
I will enjoy you because:
I have a sweet baby girl here to share each day with and teach new things to!
I love my home, keeping my home and making it a better place every day.
Nick has a job that provides for us and for that we are thankful!
My best friend and her husband will be moving. (yes I will be thankful, positive and supportive, not whiney and sad) :)
My sister has lots of new things that might take place and I am excited to see what God does in her life this year!
We are taking a little vacay up to the mountains for a week. :)
Nick turns 30! party!
Ava turns 1! party!
I turn 27. whatever. hahaha
WE WILL CELEBRATE 5 YEARS of marriage! :) party!
Our church has many things to look forward to as well and we are excited to be a part of a body that is so in tune with Christ, his love and sharing that love with those who feel abandoned.
Getting healthy. see how it is way down here on the list? that's another blog. I'll get it up sometime soon.
I will cook more, bake more and be creative more!
Will be thankful, simply thankful for ALL God is doing, has done and will do! He is GOOD!

Thanks for reading. :)
more to come!

shaina

let it snow

I am enjoying the snow, as I sit here in the cozy house...thinking about how I have to get out and go work for a few hours in a little bit. But, once I get home tonight, I will be inside until wednesday. A whole day to be inside, finish some things for this weekend, baking and projects, get some cleaning done and of course snuggling. The only thing that would make tomorrow better is if we get so much snow that Nick gets to stay home too! :) hehe I'm sure it will just snow a regular amount, nothing too bad. But, at the rate it is coming down now, who knows! Guess we will see! 

So many things have been going thruogh my mind lately, like what gifts I have forgotten, what else I need to make for snack a thons and family gatherings, and all the stuff I have to get done for my friend's wedding next week. whew! The MAIN thing that has been taking up residence in my mind is the fact that I am soooo ready to start a fresh year! Here is my list of my 2012 goals and project ideas! Enjoy?!

Kitchen update!! 

        Paint, new backsplash, paint all hinges and handles, new flooring and shelving.

Utility area update!

         new shelf, artwork, lighting, soap dispenser, and organization. 

Living room!

         keep furniture arrangement, but update decor, get rid of old pieces I don't like, simplify.

Bedroom!

         Finish headboard and footboard, find different chest of drawers, clean out closet, buy new sheets                    and possibly a new comforter

Ava's room! 

         Rearrange her furniture, clean out closet, create a play area for her in her room.

Plant a garden! A small vegetable garden in our back yard! We'll see how it goes! 

Put up a clothesline in the backyard as well, to reduce our dryer use in the summer! 

And here is the kicker!!! My huge goal for our house/family, etc is to build a room in our garage as an office/music room!!! I am really hoping that we will be able to tear down some old shelves in the garage and use that area to build a room! Our garage is quite spacious and I think this will be a great addition to the house and the garage. It will open up space for us in the kitchen, to get rid of our "office" in there and we will be able to put nick's drums, the office desk, guitars, amp, art stuff, etc!!

I will want to do a picture diary of it all so stay tuned! 

That is a list of remodels, repairs and updates! My goals for this year are as follows! 

Continue on my health journey! (lost 4 lbs so far)

        Eating within my calories per day, working out every week day

Create and put in place a weekly cleaning schedule for the house so each day I have a few things, not one day a week trying to catch up on everything. Also a monthly schedule of big cleaning projects to keep the house updated and kept. (carpets, curtains, etc)

This whole post is a compilation of very earthly and personally driven almost selfish goals/projects, but I feel that they will improve our home and our family's lifestyle. My spiritual and inward goals will take up whole other post entirely. :) 

much love,

shaina

Merciful Rain

Let the Holy Spirit come over you now
As the healing rain falls from the clouds
There is nothing you can do to deserve it
You don't have to earn His love
Let the rain fall from above

Merciful rain falls over the children
Merciful rain falls over the children
Merciful rain falls over the children of God
Over the children of God
Merciful rain falls

See the Holy Dove descending over you now
Feel the Living Water cleansing your soul
In the name of Jesus you have been forgiven
You have been redeemed forever
Fix your eyes on Heaven 

Today has been a whirlwind of crazy, emotion, clumsiness, tears, prayers, frustrations, lack of sleep, a million things going on in my head and finally an enormous and sudden smack on the face to focus me again. Thank you Lord?? 

2:34am- Ava wakes up....(she has been sleeping so well for months, so this was odd) I get up and try to console her and put her back to sleep.

3:00am - she's back to whining and I respond to her and try again to get her to go back to sleep. 

3:16am- I finally give up and take us both to the recliner in the living room and go to sleep with her there. 

8:00am- wake up and get her changed, fed.

9:30- Ava goes down for a nap. yay!!! hurry up and get a 10 min workout in (they are amazing by the way www.revelationwellness.org Check it out!! Christian wellness and fitness! 

9:45- Ava wakes up. At least I got a work out in. I rush to at least try to wash my hair and dry it.

10:15am - with freshly styled hair, even though Ava has been demanding my attention, I finally get her, pick her up, hold her and she calms down for a bit. Then she just starts to get fussy and nothing really gets her to get back to her happy self. I had already felt tired, cranky, and frustrated and now I could feel myself getting an attitude. Terrible of me, but true. I was frustrated and just wanted Ava to be her happy self so I could get at least a few things knocked off of my list, ever growing one at that, of things to do, accomplished. So, I let her play on the floor for a little while, before you know it, she's upset again. Ok ok...so I pick her up again and entertain myself for a moment by getting on Facebook on my phone. I had an update on our church page about our sweet friends The Taylors. William is there son and he is 4. He has a brain aneurysm and is in Dallas right now. Things are very serious and could take a very rapid turn in either good or bad direction. All of a sudden I realize. Shaina, what are you thinking? Where is your heart? What is your focus? What is your purpose this day? Is it to finish a list? Is your goal to accomplish a few chores so that  you can somehow feel better about yourself? Is your goal to make sure Ava is attended to, just so she won't be cranky? Are you being a mother of grace and patience? OR are you being wasteful of your time with your 6 month old? Why would you waste precious time being selfish and frustrated with your baby girl (and yourself for that matter) when there are precious people on their faces for their son's life. Get a grip Shaina. Be humbled and hold your baby tight. Pray for William, his mom Jenny and dad Roland, his three older brothers. Pray pray pray. 

Nick got home and I quickly ran to the store while he was here to watch Ava for a minute. I quickly got back and updated him on william and the situation. He leaves to go back to work and I start getting the things in the kitchen done (ava had fallen asleep again when I got back) As soon as I started getting things done in the kitchen, she wakes up. I felt frustrated and interrupted again. Really shaina? Didn't we just have this talk, you and me, the Lord says to me. Yes, we did. So I pick her up, hold her tight, and we play for a bit. She starts to act tired again and so I change her and get her to sleep for her afternoon nap. She's sleeping sweetly right now, in her crib, and I got some things accomplished. God knows my heart. 

He knows my humanity fails me often. He knows that my desire is to be His, to be a faithful, healthy, wife and mother. He knows I struggle with busy-ness and lists. He even knows that deep down I want to sit and snuggle all day with Ava, but it's not always possible. He knows that I ache inside for Jenny, as a mom, I can't imagine watching my baby hurt and struggle to get well and not get any closer to being well. 

All of that rambling to say...I NEED Christ. I NEED his mercy. I NEED his grace. constantly. every minute. I try so hard to do things on my own, even after having a very blunt reminder this morning from my sweet Jesus. I cannot breathe without Christ. I cannot function at all, much less, abundantly and wholly without Him. His being, his person, his essence. 

Forgive me Father for being so selfish. so wrong. so disobedient. Help me to live in your mercy, walk in your grace and serve you, my husband and my sweet baby as you serve me. 

blessings all,

shaina

p.s. please please please be in prayer for William and his family. Go to facebook and search prayers for william for updates. Thanks! 

Precious

Sometimes I drive too fast
Sometimes I risk it all
Sometimes I'm reckless
And act like I'm made of steel
But I'm just flesh and bones
A product of the Fall
Still I have purpose
And this I know to be real

Life is precious, life is sweet
Like the earth beneath my feet
Though I know I'm passing through
I know I belong to You
Life is precious, life is sweet
And this truth makes it complete
Knowing Jesus died for me
Life is precious
Life is precious, life is sweet

I can't see past myself
When I get depressed
I take for granted
This life You've given me
There are a million ways
I've been so richly blessed
I can't imagine
Not being able to see

And this life I live in the body
I live by faith in the One
Who gave Himself for me

That is a really old song that I remember singing in youth choir, a million years ago. There was a sweet boy, that I didn't know well at all, but we share an Uncle and and Aunt. My Uncle Brad (on my mom's side) has a brother and his family that live in Odessa. They have 3 children. 2 girls and 1 boy. Carson, the middle and the only boy, took his life this weekend. It was a complete shock to his family. I had met Carson once, when he was tiny, and did not know him really, especially in the last few years of becoming a teenager, learning to drive, getting a first job, etc. I cannot imagine how much sorrow is filling his parent's heart. Just overhearing my aunt talking to my mother when she called was enough to make my heart cringe and my mind fill with the "what if's". What if someone new he was hurting? Did he know he was hurting? Was he getting any help? Was he being bullied? He was an avid hunter, as far as I know and was well aware of gun safety. I cannot fathom the hurt and pain he must have been going through to get to the point he did. I hurt for his parents as they will forever question and wonder about what led their precious son to end his life. My heart and my prayers go to them. I cannot get them off my mind. I know the Holy Spirit is praying for them with words that I cannot express.

Today has been an interesting, but good day. :) Church was a wonderful time of worship, fellowship and Dale shared a message that spoke straight to my heart. Faith is obedient. Period. Always. The mountain I'm facing is still a mountain, but the faith and power I feel inside to climb it is bigger and ready to go. Thank you Dale for being obedient to share the Word, the wisdom God has poured over you and for being real with us. After church, we came home and had home made chicken soup and then Nick got to working on our main bathroom toilet. I know you're jealous. I won't go into unnecessary details, just know that I am so thankful and proud of my husband for being "handy manny" and saving us money by doing it himself, even through the turmoil and frustration of it. ha! We have had a nice snuggly evening by the fire, watching a movie and enjoying the quietness (besides the occasional, ba ba ba, from ava). Life is precious. Life is sweet.

blessings,

shaina

5 Minutes 5 Months

June 9, 2011 was an incredibly crazy day. I drove myself to the dr for a regular appt, well I was on bed rest at the time so it was a bit irregular, but none the less, an appt. We even had a sono before the appt. Nick went back to work after the sono and I went to my appt. Dr. Chandler said my blood pressure was still high and sent me to BSA for monitoring. Well, about 6 hours later we had Ava Renee'. 5 weeks early, but by God's grace that 5 weeks early was right on time. She had her cord wrapped around her neck a few times when they got her out during the c-section. Imagine if Dr. Chandler had sent me home. I don't like to imagine that, so I don't. I choose to thank the Lord and praise Him for an amazing little girl, who I get to call my own. He has let Nick and I borrow her for this time and we are beyond grateful. There have been some crazy moments and days since her arrival. She was admitted to the hospital around 8 weeks for a UTI. That is when we found out she has a kidney reflux and she is on medicine to help her body stay infection free and when she is closer to a year we will see if she needs a corrective surgery. We are trusting the Lord in this and know surgery or not He is in control. :)

I have been able to stay at home with her from day 1 and that itself is a huge gift from the Lord and it is also, honestly, a huge accomplishment and direct blessing of being smart with our money, living within our means our entire marriage and trusting the Lord that the time will be right to "move up" and enjoy bigger and better things financially. For, right now, we are to learn, grow and be discipled in the small things like living with less, making the most of our money, continuing to trust as we tithe (since day 1 of our marriage we have been united in this and it is being blessed every day) and learning that simplicity is allowing us to be closer to God, closer to each other and better people period. Simplicity is a blessing. It is something that amusingly does not come "simply" or easily. It is something that takes making the right choices, no impulse buying or spending, and when we do come across a blessing in the form of "green agape" as my daddy puts it, to be wise with it, thankful for it and to make the most of it. God is faithful to us.

I hear a lot of people say, "God will provide God will provide for all of my needs, he is testing me in this by allowing me to this that or the other". I'm not sure I completely agree. I do believe the Lord tests us and teaches us through lessons. I believe that God provides for his children. I also believe that the Lord has very specific instructions about finances, about home living, about our rolls as spouses, as parents and ultimately as His children. There are things that people claim and name and it drives me crazy when they do that and then goof off by not showing up for work, being defiant in their obedience to God in tithing, worship, marriage, parenting, etc. It is not easy to be obedient in pretty much anything, but it is worth it. It is not easy to always respect my husband, but it is worth the occasional biting of my tongue to let him know I submit to his Godly authority and trust his leading. It is not always easy to be quiet or humble or gentle, but it is God's command to me as a woman, a wife and a mother. Self control is not an easy task for anyone I think, but it is something God has set in place for us as believers for our good. Ultimately for His good.

When will we, as believers, as followers, be real with ourselves and each other? When will Godly living be a priority instead of getting the latest game, priciest SUV, biggest house or designer shirt? really. I'm baffled by our lack of priority. When do we quit assuming it is the church's job to raise our children in the Word and make it a priority in our home to read the Word and teach the Word and mainly LIVE the Word to our children? which first takes us reading the Word. When will we as Christian wives encourage our husbands daily by our words and our actions and mainly our attitudes? When will Christian men stand up for their wives and fight for them as they battle self esteem, weight, and significance issues? As Nick and I have grown in our marriage, now into parenthood and in ministry I am aware of how blessed I am to have a husband who continues to learn and want to learn how to better himself as a person, man, husband and father. As a woman, wife and mother I hope that it is obvious that I desire to grow, to be Godly, gentle, self controlled in speech and action, to raise my child in the Word and display grace to her.

ALL of this to say that you can have a full time job, a family, hobbies, ministries, a church home, etc and live simply. It is possible, it takes effort, but you don't have to be friendless, depressed and poor to live simply. But, you can have a crazy schedule and be fooling yourself, thinking you have a full life, rich life, so busy and happy, but what worth do all of the "things" have in your life? How many things are your kids involved in or are you involved in that have no value....how deep does the Word and worship run in your home? Just questions and thoughts that have been stirring in my head. Things God has been convicting me of in this last 5 months of motherhood. I had been asking the Lord to refresh my mind, my heart and my relationship with him and he gave me a daughter.

Blessings,

Shaina