for now...

Wow. What a week.

So, backstory...I've been gone from home since September 8th and when I got home Monday evening it was really hard to feel at home. I just felt like I didn't belong, but I don't belong in Ft. Worth either...it was a rough night, but as the week as gone by, Amarillo (and it's tiny bit of charm) have hooked me and reeled me in. I have missed my sweet boy so much, but leaving home again is going to be really hard. This week has just been wonderful in so many ways. I have been able to sleep in my own bed, love on my baby girl, enjoy time with my husband, be in my kitchen, cook in my kitchen, work on my house, clean my kids' room, do laundry for all four of us, see friends, family, and just breathe a bit. I am   feeling refreshed in many ways and yet I am still really nervous and will never be completely ready for all the change that will happen when we do get home. Yet, we WILL come home and we will be blessed beyond measure to have our little family of four together. I have so much I need to share and unload from my heart and all God is teaching me...but I just can't seem to get it out. So, maybe as I get back to Ft. Worth next week I can rummage through all my thoughts and get them out.

Update that all want:
Noah has had a wonderful week with his Mimi and Tpaw. I mean, he is getting spoiled rotten right and left. haha. :) Lots of holding, singing to sleep, great long talks with his Tpaw and wearing a santa hat for Mimi. I'm so blessed to be able to have my parents there to keep us updated, and love on Noah all week. He has had a great week. Lots of weaning off of certain meds such as pain meds and steroids. He has gone up on feeds through his feeding tube. He has gone down on his oxygen quite a bit. He has had physical therapy come in and work with him and speech therapy even started using a bottle to see how he does with it. So far he has done well! GREAT first steps. I'm very proud and excited to see him and hold him. He is making lots of progress and we are so thankful. God has blessed us so much. I wish I could get my brain to sort through all the things going on, but for now hopefully this will work. :)

Here are some prayer needs and praises:

Praise Him for progress, bottles, clothes and lowered oxygen and increased feeds.
Thankful for my parents and their sacrifices and love for us.
thankful for our home and my sweet little family.
thankful for a loving church family, friends, and support system
Thankful for an amazing medical staff at cook's
Thankful for new friends we have met there

Pray for continued success for noah on the bottle with feeds.
For more oxygen weaning
For more medicine weaning
For rest for Noah

for safe travel going back
for safety as I begin a new season back at the ronald mcdonald house
for the holiday time to not be so heartbreaking as we are not all together or home together yet.
For ava as she continues to endure this whole ordeal. for her to stay healthy

Thank you all so much. we are forever and ever grateful to each of you for your prayers and love, support in every way.

Blessed,
shaina