Details

My Mimi has been going through quite the medical adventure over the last few years and has come to a point in the road where the Lord has called her to slow down and wait for Him to pick her up and take her home. It has been quite a crazy few years and there have been some major ups and downs. I have seen my Mimi go from a thriving, busy, up and going woman to a very confused and non-mobile woman. We say we trust the Lord and he has our life in His hands, yet why does He allow such a Godly woman to suffer in ways that she didn't want to? I think it is the same with Mimi as it is with Noah. This time in her life is not a mistake, it isn't easy, but it isn't for nothing. Noah has a heart condition that isn't going to be easy to deal with, but it isn't for nothing and it isn't meant for his harm. I don't think Mimi is going through this last part of her journey for herself, I think if anything, she is going through this last part of her journey, for her Jesus. She has always had a love for Jesus that shines through all other aspects of her life. I know that just yesterday my Mom told me that a new nurse came into her hospice room and she asked her if she was a Christian. :) She asks everyone. I'm thankful for that example and to see that genuine concern for everyone's eternal life. I need to learn from her and catch hold of her passion. She is showing everyone around her that even in her last part of her life, she is concerned with other's. Mimi isn't gone yet and I am not writing a tribute to her for that reason at this point, she is just on my mind and as we talked today in her room, I couldn't help but think of all the things she has taught me and shared with me over my 27 years. I just wanted to share some of the things that stick out in my mind and heart.

My mimi taught me how to cook and more than that, enjoy cooking. She showed me how to love people, especially my family, through cooking and that it can minister to people. Including myself.

Mickey Mouse pancakes. mmmm :)

Grapefruit- with sugar on it. She also showed me how to cut out the little segments. :) she had a special knife for it, in fact.

Fresh bread- every meal had fresh bread. I need to take the time to enjoy that like she did.

A day planner- mimi scheduled her plant watering, meetings, bible study time, baking, meal prep, etc. :) I feel that so many of my planning traits and need for details come from mimi.

The need to share/teach the Word. I have not found my place in this yet, but I know that I have taught before and would love to again. She taught many many many years of sunday school and bible studies and poured into her studies each week.

The little things. Mimi always noticed and enjoyed little things. details.
For instance, Christmas Eve dinner....the snack a thon we all enjoy...wasn't just a table full of snack foods. It was planned out vigorously and she enjoyed picking and choosing all the dishes, dips, meats and cheeses, etc. cheesecake and cherries for travis, shrimp for my mom, cheese ball for dawn, chicken tenders for us girls, etc etc. ketchup and more ketchup for the boys :)

I guess to sum it all up, I ask Jesus to hold my mimi and love on her as she is in this part of her life journey. She has mastered so much in her life from being an amazing wife, mother, grandmother, friend, business woman, community servant, volunteer, etc etc. She has come to the end of this road and I pray that she takes her Jesus' hand and is escorted into his Kingdom and into her special place he has prepared, with excitment, joy and awe! She loves Jesus with all she is and I know that being side by side with him will be her dream come true. Love you Mimi. :) I will cherish all your kitchen items, recipe boxes, silly memories and serious life lessons, always.

Please pray for my Pawpaw as he is at this ending place with her. Please pray for my Mother and for my Aunt as they are also at this place. I know this is a bittersweet time for all.

Last, I want Noah to know that he was loved and prayed for by his Great Mimi and when he eats meatloaf, a home made cinnamon roll or fresh baked bread, part of his Mimi is in each dish, because she shared herself with his  mommy.. :)

blessings,
shaina

Glory Revealed

I can never think of titles it seems, until after I have sat and written. Yesterday was rough. I had no extra energy...in fact I really didn't have the energy for regular day to day activities. I was hot. I mean, I understand being hot in the summer, but this 100+ degree day, running around town, 26 weeks pregnant and carrying and chasing around a 1 yr old about did me in. At one point I just wanted to bury my head in my hands, cry a lot and give up....but, that is not possible at this point. I don't get to give up and have a pitty party because I have responsibilities to maintain for our home, my husband, for Ava and ultimately right now for Noah and I together. I mean, I try to give myself the  means to rest and not over-do it during the day, but emotionally I cannot muddle in my weariness or my lack of energy. I have to grab hold of Jesus, gain strength and power from Him and keep going.

So, today I take a deep breath, prepare for 100+ degree weather, work on household chores and things, organize my calendar as I prepare for the next ft worth trip, put up clothes, wash clothes, wash dishes, play with Ava, pay bills, pick up junk that somehow just appears everywhere...haha and I
"just keep swimming" as Dori from Finding Nemo puts it.  oh and then go to work from 7-11 tonight.

Being a mom is an automatic accountability partner in so many ways and I'm thankful for that. I have become more disciplined than I ever thought i could be, I have been able to lay down my wants and needs for Ava's and now Noah's more so than I thought possible, I have also grown space in my heart I didn't know was there, for the love and care I have for them. I know all you mommies out there understand. I feel that the last year has been the hardest and yet most rewarding year of my life and I look ahead and just can't imagine how I could have a harder year ahead, but I know the Lord is preparing the way.

Isaiah 40:3-6
A voice of one calling:
“In the wilderness prepare
the way for the Lord^[a];
make straight in the desert
a highway for our God.^[b]
4 Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
⁵ And the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
and all people will see it together.
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” 

Isaiah 40 has been a huge passage for me lately. I have been shown on multiple occasions in different settings, from the Lord, in Isaiah 40, words of encouragement, words of conviction and words of power. I know this road we are on is not easy and he didn't say it would be. The next year of surgeries, appts, trips to ft worth, keeping Ava and Noah both healthy and well, not being out and about as much, being the parent of a baby with a heart condition, etc will be HARD. It's going to be the hardest thing we've ever done at times and yet overall it will be the best thing that has ever happened to us. First of all because Noah is a miracle and God can still do miracles and will do miracles in his life. Second because our family unit is covered by so much prayer and love and support and I know we will make it and beyond making it, we will thrive. Third, God IS and all is well. Thanks DadT. Still don't like that statement sometimes because I want answers and explinations, but I still latch on to the wisdom of it because it makes it all make sense in His way. not mine.

Guess that is all today. I have to really get back to playing catch up on the house. :(

thanks for prayers. no new updates yet. Just an appt with my regular obgyn tomorrow here in amarillo.
much love,
shaina

My little rock star..

We bought Noah a little onesie set that says "daddy's rock star" on it and it has a drum set. :) we thought it was quite appropriate!

This morning the scripture in my daily scripture is this:

Lift up your eyes on high and see:
who created these?
He who brings out their host by number,
calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
and because he is strong in power
not one is missing.

Isaiah 40:26

I could not help but think of Noah and how much the Lord loves him and his intracacies he is forming. He has called him by name and has not forsaken him as some might think, but he has given him a purpose before he even enters the world; to make the Lord known. Of course I think of Ava and Nick and even myself as I read that scripture as well, and I am very encouraged by it in general because he has his eye on us and if he has called each star by name, he has named us as well and knows where each of us are. Noah is one of our Father's stars and I'm thankful that he is allowing me to carry him and know him.

As far as an update on everything, we are still just planning our next trip to Ft Worth at this point. My appts are on July 5th. So the 4-6 will be our trip days. Prayers for covering are appreciated, in all aspects. I have such a sweet and supportive family and I am thankful for their prayers, finanical support and love. So, I just have to make some details set in stone, but for the most part I am not nervous about this trip, just ready to discuss with Dr. Howard about a delivery date and also having a detailed echocardiogram with Dr. Roten, a pediatric cardiologist at Cook's to look closely at Noah's heart.

Thanks again to all of you for your prayers and love. I'm getting excited to have a little boy. All the new clothes and new things not to mention this new little person we will add to our family are exciting. I am also realizing that this first year of Noah's life is going to be a wild ride. Multiple surgeries, trips to ft worth, dr appts, keeping him away from crowds and pretty much most public places in general, etc etc. Keeping Ava healthy in order to keep Noah healthy, etc. It is going to be a wild ride. thank you for your prayers and support through it all!!

Thank you thank you!

love you all,

Shaina