Ft Worth Eve...

Ugh. This week has been both good and bad. I'm exhausted, sore, uncomfortable and can barely keep up with Ava. Add on to that, trying to pack, clean house, laundry, dr appts here, etc etc and Ava won't take a nap to save either of our lives. :( I'm just ready to not be so loaded with "to do's" and I realllllly wish that Ava stay on some sort of schedule with her naps, even in the midst of the craziness, but I know that isn't happening. She realizes something is wrong and doesn't know how to express that other than being clingy, not wanting to "miss out" by sleeping, she fights it all day and then finally gives up at night. I hate that this is taking a toll on her already, but, maybe we'll be relaxed in ft worth and she won't feel the need to not miss out on anything and cry every time I leave the room. :(
I haven't felt like nor I have a cooked a meal in weeks it seems. I feel bad about not keeping up with some of the domestic things I enjoy doing, but I'm just at that point in pregnancy that I could care less about being a cook. Might as well add to the lack of normalcy in all of this. (truly it is not a big deal, but to a stay at home mom on a budget, it can feel like a fail)
I have only laid out a couple of things on my bed, to pack. I have nothing laid out to pack for Ava, nor do I have any of the extra bags ready such as food for her, etc. I just can't get to doing any of it. I'm not sure if it is lack of energy, procrastinating because I think it will prolong our leaving, etc. I'll have to find a way to get it done somehow.
I suppose I'll be done dumping for now. I just feel the battle increasing inside of me as we prepare to leave. Satan is trying his best to get to me and I refuse to surrender to him. I claim the peace and empowerment I've had through Christ. It's my hope and refuge.

For my babies...

Bethany Dillon has always been one of my favorite singer/song writers. We are about the same age and she has a little girl a bit older than Ava. She wrote this song and it has just spoken to my heart regarding my little ones so much.
enjoy. :)

Good morning
You and the sun are up before I'm ready
But ready or not, you need me
So here I am

I'm learning that in the long hard days
There is beauty
Do you know my favorite place to see it
It's when I look at you

And though I'm tired now
You're worth every sleepless night
You're worth it all, cause I know...

[CHORUS]
You're the best song I'll ever write
And we're humming and dancing through the years together
You're the best song I'll ever write
And I pray you'll hear Jesus in it when you're older

[VERSE]
I remember when you were just a heartbeat that I heard
and now our eyes meet
Forever is not enough to love you

Ooohhh...

[BRIDGE]
Every prayer for you is like a seed in the ground
Every tear I cry is like rain
And in its due season
I pray a harvest will be found
Your heart and mouth confessing Jesus' name
Your heart and mouth confessing Jesus' name