Adjustments 1.1

So, I knew that Ava and I both would need to adjust to life here for the next few weeks and I knew it would take some time and effort out of both of us. I didn't realize just how emotionally draining it would be on me, as a mommy. Not just as a person, being away from home, husband, normalcy, schedule, my own bed, bathroom, familiarity, church family, etc. But, as a mommy, it is SO hard to see your child struggle to "be ok". Ava has done well and today has been our best day yet. Much less fit throwing and whining and more laughing, eating better, nap taking, and general obedience. It has been a blessing to see her flourish in the last day or so as she is realizing that life is different right now and that doesn't mean it is bad. I feel that I've done some of the same growing. I've learned that laughing and letting things go (mainly ava stuff) is ok and that it lightens my load when I let it go, laughing is in general good for all, eating better(healthier for me generally) is always good, naps are our friends, and obedience to my Father is key to this whole thing, even when I don't understand, want to comply or wonder what will come out of any of it. God knows, we just simply have to obey. When we obey, that means we trust that what he has for us is better than what we have for ourselves, even if we don't like it. So, as I've learned these little lessons the last few days, I've been freed from a lot of anxiety and lack of self confidence because I am trying to allow the important things to be important and the not so important things be at the bottom. So what if Ava strings out all of my clothes from my suitcase...I napped for 30 minutes without realizing it and she is not hurt, nothing got broken and she was occupied. haha! That really happened today. :) clothes are easy to put back into a suitcase. Keeping her occupied is not. haha! I've let go of the "what will this do to her" stuff, like if I put her in my bed at 2 am because she is awake and won't go back to bed without screaming etc. She is having to sleep in a pack and play...not my first choice for sure, it is not normal for her and out of these 2 weeks of our life, I don't think a couple of times in bed with me will be hurtful to her health or well being. In fact, we have both needed the snuggles and love of each other many times the last few days. I've held her for naps more these last few days too, mainly because she will take a nap for me, when I hold her, because she is in such a new place and new schedule. I realized that these times are precious, with her being where she wants me to hold her and rock her, she is my only child able for me to hold and rock right now, after the c-section I won't be able to for a little while, etc. God is teaching me to let go of all the things I think are so right, so important and are so by the book and just let things happen as they come. We are in a place in life that we have to be flexible and it is ok to find a new normal right now. That lesson alone has been huge for both myself and in turn, Ava. Thank you Lord, Nick, Mom and the graciousness of our hosts Stacey and Kevin. (such grace has been extended to both ava and I as we have adjusted, thank you!)
So, Ava and I have enjoyed some outings lately....we made it to Jack in the Box (for hubby haha) and walmart. We took a trip to Hobby Lobby and Baskin Robbins and today we went to the mall and Ava had a good time playing on the kid's play area, I found her some shirts, and noah and her both some Cowboys gear. :) I got to eat some chinese food (nick doesn't always go for that, so I eat it mainly when he is gone) haha. Ava and I shared a soft pretzel, we both napped when we got home and then she got to go play at church tonight and I got to play by taking a hot bath, getting our laundry done, picking up our room and having some quiet time. :) Ava and mommy are both happy girls. She is sleeping hard right now and I am going to wrap this up so I can get some sleep. Maybe she'll stay down the whole night. Looks like we might have to make a park run tomorrow since it will be only in the 80's here. (I know you guys in amarillo are getting low 60's) jealous!!!!
If y'all would continue to pray for Ava and her adjustments.
Pray for my dr appt on Friday- regular appt, but just praying that noah is growing big and looking good.
Delivery day is sept 24th still. Praying for a smooth c-section, and a smooth recovery for myself so that I can be all I need to be for Noah.
This is going to sound really weird, but the women who read this and pray can understand....pray for my milk supply to stay constant and enough for noah. I will be pumping and he won't be breastfeeding directly but when he starts eating after he is out of surgery and off of the ventilator, he can have my milk and I would be so blessed to know that I can provide for him for quite awhile. They say, sometimes with stress, mommies of those having surgery and stuff can dry up and not provide enough, so they use milk donors for the babies in order for them to still get breast milk...I would just love to be able to provide milk for Noah for a long time. thanks :)

Oh, so Nick is amazing and has transformed our living room floors from yucky carpet to hardwoods. The laminate flooring under our carpet was horrendous but he has gotten the paint and texture off, re stained and coated the floors and they look great according to the pictures! :) what an awesome hubby!! :) we miss him a lot!
pray for his safety as he flies down, next weekend (22nd).
love to all!
thanks to all!
shaina

The Beginning of the End....errr The Beginning of the rest...

I can't help but think that today marks the first day of the end of this process. This process has come in parts for me and this is the beginning of the end. Ava and I have settled in for the most part at Nick's cousin's home here in North Richland Hills. We are so very very thankful for the opening of their home for us and for the grace and love that is shared in this home. I am thankful. Nick flew back home today and has already begun on home improvement projects that will keep him quite busy the next 2 weeks.
So yesterday was both good and interesting. I won't say bad. The shower was perfect! Such a sweet shower thrown by sweet people and I was able to say bye to some people before we left town. Noah was blessed with some sweet things and we are just overwhelmed with blessings. We planned to leave town around 3 and we were on the road at 3:15ish. Awesome for having had to load the jeep, get ava ready, etc in just over an hour. Well, we got to the outskirts of Amarillo and our tire pressure light came on. We both had thought we might have heard air earlier, but couldn't guarantee it, but low and behold, it was leaking bad. So since we bought the tires at Discount only a couple of weeks ago, we headed there. They had closed at 1:30 that day due to a company function, so plan B. Walmart....we call ahead and there was an hour wait. Well, guess we'll wait. We didn't want to drive any further on it and it had to get fixed. So, we walked around the Grand street walmart and waited from 3:45-5:15. Finally, back on the road. We hustled and made good timing, even stopping as needed and made it to NRH by midnight on the dot. Thank the Lord for his provision and protection.
Ava did amazing the whole trip and even stayed asleep and went down in her pack and play here perfectly and slept all night. She was up early this morning, but she did sooo good!
Today has been a little rough. I have had such peace though, all day. The prayers of all of you are so sweet and precious to me because I know that is why I am so clear minded, level headed and lacking in outbursts of emotion because I have an underlying peace and the Holy Spirit has just enveloped me with his presence. It doesn't mean there hasn't been frustrations today. Ava is in a new house, new place, new routine, lack of routine and schedule, etc and so she is pushing the limits and figuring out what she can get away with and what she can't. I'm exhausted to say the least. I truly do not know how single parents do it. God so intended for children to be raised in a home with a mom and a dad for a reason. Doesn't mean he doesn't provide for and fill in the holes of the homes without one or the other. don't get me wrong in this. It is not a judgment, it is an observation and it has made me appreciate my husband and our amazing partnership in parenting. Truly. I am so thankful for him and all he does for our daughter. And what he will do for our son.

So, I am tired and ready for bed.

I missed all of everyone from FLC this weekend. Hope it was fun and I can't wait to see y'all again in a few weeks.

Looks like that is all of the update that I have for now.
I do have an update on prayer requests if anyone is interested....

Pray for the next 2 weeks for me. We deliver on the 24th and so just 2 more weeks of being pregnant. I am feeling the fatigue and weariness. I have to chase my baby girl around all day and the energy level is lacking right now. I want to be here for her and do as much as I can with her before we have Noah, so please pray for great rest each night, energy for the days and for Ava and I to have a bonding time and a special time together.

For nick as he is by himself for 2 weeks. He has lots going on around the house, work, etc. Just for his safety, rest, etc. We miss him already!

I have a dr appt the 14th at my dr here in ft. worth. just pray for all to still be going well. (don't want to go into labor or anything)

Pray blessings over our sweet family here in north richland hills. They have opened their home and their lives for us to invade for however long we need here and for that we are grateful.

Thanks all!
all for now.
shaina