Altars

In the midst of chaos, we pause and create respite. We can find moments of peace, of joy, even in the midst of our darkest hours.
There are seasons of our life that just aren't pretty. Right now I can think of quite a few things in our world that are creating stressful situations, dark times for many. My best friend and her three children drove 12 hours to evacuate their home as tropical storms turn into hurricanes and threaten their island home. They are safe and sound here, but I can't help but think about all the chaos that comes with the circumstance. One day of virtual school happened before evacuation. There is no timeline for this kind of thing. You pack up and get out, not knowing what you will come home to, if there will be a home to come home to. You aren't sure about much of anything. Leaving her spouse behind to weather the storm from the hospital, as a physician, she packed up and came up here. I guess my mind is just full of thoughts and my heart is full of intercession for her, her kids, her husband, her friends, church family, neighbors.

In Luke 10:42 Mary has chosen to sit at Jesus's feet while her sister is busy with all the things that hosting entails. I love that  Martha is such a hospitable and thoughtful woman. Here though, Jesus is speaking into the chaos with these words, "only one thing is needed". Mary was choosing Jesus. Simple. I think Martha was choosing Jesus in her own way, but isn't it like us to choose our own way, thinking it is the more important, but we just don't quite get it. We think we need to DO a whole bunch of things. We need to "manage".

I'm reminded, as I think back in our friendship, of times when life was less than easy. I think back to a season where I was in a fog. I was alone most of the time, at the hospital, as Noah lay there recovering from heart surgeries, and every other weekend or so, she would come up and stay with me. She would stay at the Ronald McDonald house with me, we would eat out, got a pedicure on occasion, we would get coffee, went to Half Price Books, sat in Noah's little cubicle in ICU and would read books and chat. We got cleaned up and dressed up for a dinner at a lovely local restaurant one night. We made these altar moments of gratitude, joy and remembering that life wouldn't always be this hard. Life wouldn't always be so dark. We chose to remember the God who gives us good things. It would have been very easy for me to sit in the hospital every single moment and "manage" the situation by never leaving, never looking up, never breaking away from the darkness. I could have easily just have kept grinding away in the heaviness of it all, but God. God opened up these moments to remember that He is good, even in the ugliness.

What are some of the ways you can build an altar in your current season? Is it coffee with a friend? A small day trip to a pretty place you've never been? Is it buying a  new journal or Bible and claiming the promises of Jesus all over again? Whatever it is, find a way to make a mark of joy in a season of pain/sadness/uncertainty. I know right now we're all in a season of uncertainty. Our kids are all taking things in stride, we are learning to relearn, readjust, realign. Let's make some altars in this season to pause and remember God's absolute goodness. Let's get ice cream or have a picnic. Maybe a movie night or a homemade pizza night? It doesn't actually take much to create a moment in time that we can return to and remember, it will all be ok.

It really will all be ok,
Shaina

It Matters...

 Last week, on Wednesday, we started school! (Ana will actually start on September 8th) Ava started 4th grade and so far, is loving it. 

Last year was tough. Without sharing too much, since it is Ava's story, not all mine, let's just say we had some struggles. Lots of things stop us from trying, the enemy knows us well enough and even as kids, he gets us where we are most vulnerable. One of the biggest obstacles last year was just trying; not being afraid to learn/try/mess up. Quarantine came, STAAR was cancelled and we got this long break from the stress, tension and pressures that seemed so constant. 

Friday Ava got to the car after school with this beaming smile and her teacher was waving at her to remind her to tell me that she was going to send me a message. Ava had written for an assignment and knocked it out of the park. Her teacher celebrated, Ava felt so accomplished and the biggest thing was that she surprised herself in it all. What she wrote was a testimony of her growth over the last year and all we and her teacher from last year did together to keep her encouraged and pressing on. I was so excited for her and am so proud that she has started off this year with such a bang!

With that said, we are starting off this first full week of school, excited and ready to go. It is amazing to watch Ava catch on to herself, her style, her strengths and even her weaknesses. We sent the message from this year's teacher to last year's teacher to encourage her and remind her that WHAT SHE DOES MATTERS. 

As teachers and parents come together for the betterment of our students/kids, we will see amazing things happen! Especially this year, let's be full of grace, thanksgiving and encouragement for our teachers. They are navigating all of this every single day with new information, processes and rules being thrown at them all the time. Let's trust them a little bit more and know that they have gifts that we don't have, they have perspective that we don't have. As parents, we are our child's #1 advocate and part of advocating is listening. So, friends, let's listen. Let's listen to our kids, ask them questions, hear their answers and do our best to be a team with their teacher and with them as we navigate school and all that comes with it this year. 

It matters. Our kids' struggles matter. Our teacher's mental health matters. Our level of advocacy and care for our children, matters. Consistency and communication are imperative. We don't always see the results to those things immediately. We often see results WAY down the road. Let's stop and recognize those achievements and celebrate them as well. Tell that 1st grade teacher years down the line that they made a difference. Tell the music teacher or PE teacher how much they made your kid's day. Let's email the administration this year and just remind them that we see them and are here for them even if there are no actual ways to help on campus at this time. You may have a different experience with school. One riddled with pain, frustration, someone letting your kid fall through the cracks, etc. I don't know your perspective, but  know that 90% of the teachers and staff at our schools care and want the best. We just have to learn to be good communicator and listeners along with being consistent in what we know is best for our kids! I'm encouraging you and praying that this year, amidst all the craziness and hardship, will be one of the best yet! I truly believe it has the capacity to blow us away! 

How can we show up for our kids this year? I believe we can show up in how we allow them to mess up, to learn from their mistakes, to have a safe space to struggle, mess up and wrestle with hardship. We should allow our kids to help set their own goals, household chores, and responsibilities. Note that I said help with. Allowing them to discuss and help decide what needs to be done each day, expectations on them and their schoolwork/bedroom/house, etc is a really helpful way to teach them responsibility for their own things/self. I have noticed that just making a list of things to do doesn't go far with Ava, but asking her which things she is willing to do, off of that list, plus her deciding on things she specifically wants to work on works for us. Get creative! There is no right way.  Each of our kids is so different. What I am saying is this; our expectations and what we view as our kids' success may need to shift. It can shift per kid, per year, per growth spurt... Does that make sense? Consistency is good. Grace and adjustments are imperative. 

There are a lot of things we can do to help our kids have the best year possible and I believe it starts with stopping the helicoptering and including them more. (again, this will vary with age and season) Happy new school year to you all! Whether you are homeschooling, your kids are back in the classroom or virtually joining in, you have what it takes to be your kids' Mom. You have been hand picked and are equipped! Be encouraged and don't try to do it all alone or at one time! 

Let's do this!