This year's word for me has been Wellness. You can read about that in my previous post. I will say that in my humanity I have been on board easily at times and I have completely jumped ship some as well. The learning I have accomplished in this year has been priceless though and I have also learned to give myself so much more grace. That in itself is a huge win for this "good girl"/slight perfectionist/could be borderline ocd on occasion....just sayin. Finding ways to show myself grace has been hard and so beneficial. (and I've read over 12 books this year. This is a miracle)
Some of you may have noticed that we sold our home in September. This was not necessarily a quick or rash decision, but it was something that God clearly spoke to Nick and I both about and we decided together to be obedient in it. He really pressed this upon us through some upkeep we were going to have to begin doing to the home. We decided that perhaps we were not exactly in love with the home and questioned the thought of investing so much into a home we were not wanting to remain in forever. The home has been such a blessing to us. We were able to heal and move forward from a home that we never brought Noah home to, we did bring our sweet rainbow girl, Ana, to this home and Ava did so much growing up and learning in the house. We are so thankful for the season we lived there. We just knew it was time to make a move. Where move to, you ask?
An apartment. I know. The thought is daunting. Why in the world would we move from a nice 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, back yard with play set, 2 car garage, etc home.... for an apartment, close neighbors, 1 less bedroom, noise, no yard...ya. This is the opposite of the American Dream.
Thank God.
Nick and I both have felt the push to retreat from the American Dream mentality and pursue God's dream for us. We have both felt this push and the call from him to quit being "normal" whatever that looks like and just be obedient. This means that we downsized, we got rid of so much stuff, we let go of tons of junk, our kids had to shuck a lot of toys, we had to swallow some pride, grit our teeth and begin an a new adventure. We have dreams that we know God is placing in our hearts for a place to call home, someday, that will truly be that, for more than just us 4. We know we will have the space to host our life group, the worship team, our girls' friends, the church staff, our friends and family. There are things that are stirring in my heart that only God can put there and only he can accomplish them, but he's asking for my obedience, not just my wishful thinking. We have also been on a financial journey since 2015. That year we found out we were pregnant in March, Nick would need back surgery and our car at the time needed an entirely rebuilt transmission and a suspension job. We found ourselves getting a loan from our bank and the entire year of expense was covered. We were prepared to pay that loan quicker than the couple of years we had to do it in, but it felt like a prison. We knew that life happens and that sometimes expenses come up and we just didn't want to feel trapped like that again. We also did not know that we would be experiencing a job change for Nick, the next year, but THANK GOD he made that happen in our life. We are so thankful for the position and company Nick is in now and we know that is the hand of God. (you'll hear the story later I'm sure) All of that to say, we decided to really get serious about our financial goals. Part of wellness, for me, this year, has been mental wellness and part of that was getting some things in order for our future. We had done a few of the steps in Dave Ramsey's Money Makeover and had an emergency fund saved back and were snowballing debt well. We had gotten to the place of having only our 1 loan payment (for our 2015 year of the crazy) and our mortgage. That was it. We were feeling great about that and knew that we would never have a credit card again and felt the blessing of no student loans. haha. We were at a point where we made the decision to jump ahead at a quicker pace in our financial goals. But, that meant downsizing our living for awhile.
"There are things that are stirring in my heart that only God can put there and only he can accomplish them, but he's asking for my obedience, not just my wishful thinking..."
When I mentioned to Ava that we may be moving to an apt, she exclaimed "YES! This is going to be amazing!"... haha! As a momma I was so thankful she was excited. I made sure we would stay in an area where she wouldn't move schools (very important to me) and we started doing the research. I didn't doubt that God would take care of my girls in the move, but this was confirmation to me that he would more than take care of them, he would allow them to thrive.So, in early September we got with our favorite realtor (Chelsie Kinsey) and in 5 days from listing, we had a contract. God was certainly showing up and showing off. We closed in a record amount of time and we were able to make enough on our home to pay off our entire loan we had, the remainder of our home loan and then have a huge jump start on saving 3 months worth of income/next home goals. In one move of faith, we jumped ahead in our goals by leaps and bounds.
We were blessed to move into a brand new apt complex. Our new place is PERFECT for us. Because we got rid of so much stuff, we fit perfectly in the apartment. The space is exactly what we need in this time. It isn't tiny, but it is just the right size for us (and our life group fits too haha!) Our girls love (and are young enough) to share a room. The closets are spacious, for the stuff we did keep and need to store. The kitchen/dining and living are so open, yet cozy and inviting. The laundry/utility is great and the cat is fairly happy there..if a cat actually cares... I'm not sure of that. haha
Something about the super tall ceilings make me feel so happy. I've seen God dote upon us in this move in so many ways. I'm so thankful. Our girls are loving it and honestly, so are Nick and I. I have said it so many times since we moved in, that our little bungalow of home is SO EASY TO CLEAN, it's not overwhelming. There is no yard to keep up with, no garage to de-clutter (even though it would be nice in the winter to have one haha), etc. The time we do have right now amidst the things we are involved in, is devoted to our own little family. It is so nice to have the time to relax, have fun, do fun things, and not feel overwhelmed by housework, yard work, chores, repairs, etc.
What I want to really share is this...selling your home and downsizing and revamping your whole lifestyle is not for everyone. It is not the answer for every family. What I am saying is that whatever you feel God telling you to do right now... be obedient in that and He is faithful to show you his favor and blessing in that obedience. I am telling you, THIS WAS NOT EASY. I'm actually still in the process of getting rid of some stuff as I type this. Letting go of stuff and status and what we think the world wants from us wasn't just an easy decision or process. It took prayer, trust and LOTS OF ENERGY, some tears and all the sweating. I wanted to wait and list our home in January, Nick didn't. Trust is hard and submitting to him isn't always easy, but God proved himself through that and in many other circumstances.
My wellness went to a whole new level that I didn't realize was needed, by simply downsizing the amount of stuff in my life. I am currently reading 2 books... A Simplified Life by Emily Ley and The Fringe Hours by Jessica Turner In both of these books, simplifying and creating space in our lives is the theme and goal. I have been so thankful to have a place to dig in and learn more about this need for space in my life... tangible and emotional. I have read other books like Unstuffed by Ruth Souker about de-cluttering and un-stuffing our lives of just that, stuff. She hits on a lot of good points in this. I recommend it. (all of them) There is another book called Finding Spiritual White Space by Bonnie Gray that I remember really starting this idea of wellness and space in my life. When we fill our life with so much stuff we cannot even imagine filling it with anything else, our kids, our Jesus and our most important parts of us get the boot. They just do. Never fails. As I've taken the whole year to really look at this I feel as though a year has not been enough and wellness continues into next year, but maybe in a different way. I have dabbled in wellness in just about every aspect of my life this year, but just dabbled. I haven't gone as deep into physical wellness as I had planned, spiritual wellness as I need, financial wellness is a work in progress, etc. You know? Where is it that I can journey deeper into this concept?
I have much work to do. Thankfully God walks with us, no matter the length of time it takes to really learn and grasp. He is faithful to walk in every season with us, through all the lessons and learning. Are we willing to go there though? What adventure is God calling you to? Maybe it is a health journey, a financial journey, a spiritual journey (he's calling us to that daily honestly), maybe it is a new job, new home, different city... I don't know where you are at, but I can tell you that this last year has been one of my best years because I have really pushed myself to let God show himself through hard obedience. What a blessing.
The benefits of these changes in our home are absolutely humbling and a blessing to us.
Our marriage is healthier than ever. We help each other in our goals, we have learned to communicate better and end up realizing we have so many of the same goals personally and then that overflows into our family goals. We have fun. We laugh. We have space to relax and enjoy ourselves. Our girls are realizing that life isn't about stuff, slowly, but they are. We have a clear goal financially and we are attaining it now at a more rapid pace. It is amazing to see how such lofty goals aren't lofty when they're given by the Lord and fueled by him as well. So thankful for the ability and freedom to save such large amounts of money each month to see big goals become reality in the next few years.
5 years ago I was in Fort Worth and I was dreading Christmas. We were going to be stuck in Ft Worth with a very sick little boy and life just didn't look happy or Christmas-y that year. I was alone the majority of the time and didn't know how my 2 year old would survive such a dysfunctional Christmas. But God. He showed up big that year and we were overwhelmed by intentional love from him, others and each other. We had a Christmas full of incredible memories that I will cherish forever. It snowed in Ft Worth on Christmas Day. (miracle) haha We had so much fun making our Christmas Eve snack-a-thon and Christmas Day food at the Ronald McDonald House of FT Worth and sharing with friends we met there. We were just overwhelmed by so many good things. These last few years after Noah's death have been HARD. Not only walking out grief, but just life, like parenting kids, job changes, church hurts, family misunderstandings, friends coming and going.... life has seen its share of hardship. But God. He is so kind, faithful and good to us. He is using every situation and circumstance to teach us, grow us and make us better versions of ourselves. We're so blessed and in that I don't mean with stuff or neat things are fluffy happiness.. I mean we are genuinely blessed. In the death of a child, in the loss of family members, on the other side of deep pain, in the trials of daily life... God is so faithful. He is true. He is good. He is trustworthy. He is genuine and real with us. He disciplines those he loves. Thank you, Lord, for loving us so well. :)
Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas! Filter this season through the lens of the Gospel. If something doesn't seem necessary or worth it, don't do it. Don't create stress out of comparison of others or the need to impress or keep up with others. Do the best thing for your family. Don't try to go to every event. Don't get your kid a bunch of crap. They want our presence anyway. Not sure why we don't get that in our heads. Don't over do it on crafts and bucket lists if that is not realistic for your family. Give your family the best version of you and if that means less stuff and more intentional time together, simple activities or just less of all the things. Do it. Own it. Enjoy it! Holler if you need moral support in this. We are in this together. :) haha!
In His love,
Shaina
And consider this your Christmas Card. Cuz that is something that I gave up years ago. Too stressful, paying for someone to throw it in the trash.... stamps, addresses... ya. Enjoy this new picture of our crazy family!
 |
| Merry Christmas and Happy 2018! |
