So, today has been nice. The relief of being through with my part time job for a long while is encouraging and helpful in keeping my house duties going (as much as I can do now days) I am thankful for Nick's help this weekend in getting the laundry caught up after last week's battle with hormones, tiredness, Ava being sick etc. He's handy to have around ;) hehe. Ava and I went to Canyon, as usual for a Monday, to take Pop's his laundry and have lunch with him and play. He sure enjoys it, as do we. Soaking up that time is priceless. Today I had all these "getting ready' things to do for our little trip to Ft. Worth. After leaving Canyon I headed up to get a tire patched, that has been leaking and ended up going ahead and buying new tires. For once, we have the opportunity to go ahead and buy them and with all the traveling we are about to do, we need them. So, praise God we have new tires. Here's the catch...I had a 14 month old with me. sheesh. She did well though. Just a little busy, but some puff snacks and my strong will kept her occupied for the duration. I decided I should change her diaper and so we went into the bathroom there at Discount and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was sooo clean. awesome. So I get Ava up on the changing table and start to change her....as soon as I turn around to get powder out of her bag, she is peeing on the new diaper and all over her self, the table and her only pair of pants I brought today. (the ones she was wearing) gosh. I'm thinking, how much longer will we have to wait and she is soaked now. So I get a new diaper....go ahead and put her wet pants on her and find the tshirt in her bag and put that in her stroller and put her in the stroller and when we got out of the bathroom, they had called our name. YAY! Great timing I must say. Haha. She's sleeping in her bed now, I am drinking a big cherry lime and enjoying the quiet house. Truly. No tv, no music. Just the hum of the AC. So, I am tired now since staying at discount much longer than anticipated, so I have no energy to finish my list right now. Hopefully later today, before nick works on the lawn I can get the jeep cleaned out and vacuumed, etc. I hate going on a trip with an already messy car.
So, for reals. An update y'all want to hear about. For now, the update is....
We are leaving tomorrow night (Tuesday) for Ft. Worth for a round of appointments and tours. Wednesday is FULL of appointments, first with Dr. Roten, the cardiologist, where we will get a new echocardiogram done, we will talk with her and she will let us know if there have been any changes in Noah that she can tell on the echo. (who knows, we might see a whole heart, God isn't out of miracles) We also know that his heart could be the same and the game plan is still on for the 3 stages of surgeries. Either way, God is in control and we are ok with that. :) We will tour the NICU, the cardiology part of the NICU and meet some of the nurses and staff who man that part of the NICU. It will be great to already have met some of the staff. We will then have an appt with Dr. Tam (the surgeon) He is a graduate of Johns Hopkins and studied under the surgeon, Dr. Norwood, for whom the first surgery is named after. We are confident in Dr. Tam and his abilities. We pray blessing over his hands and mind. We know he will do his best on Noah. We will then finish tours of the facilities and be done for the day. Hopefully we can go out that night and eat dinner as a family and enjoy somewhere we don't have in Amarillo. :) Thursday morning we go back for a dr appointment with my obgyn and then we'll head back to the AMA.
We plan on leaving amarillo to take Ava and I down to Ft. worth to stay, on September 8th. Noah's shower is that morning, let me know if you would like to come and I'll give you the address and time. :) and then we are going to pack up and head out. If for some reason they want me there earlier than the 8th, we will just have to figure something out with the shower, etc. Hopefully the 8th will be soon enough.
So, that is all for now. I will update after we get back with a full medical update and dates times etc on when we will be gone.
Please pray for my blood pressure and swelling as we travel. I have not had a problem at all so far, and I don't want to have a problem. :)
Traveling mercies. safety.
communication and confidence building for Nick and I as we go through the appts and tours on Wednesday
FOR NOAH TO BE HEALED AND WHOLE. in whatever way God chooses.
For Ava as she stays with Nick's cousin Stacey and his other cousin Stephanie on Wednesday, for her as we travel.
On a side note: I have gone through the ringer with hormones, emotions, fear and anxiety last week especially. This week has started out wonderfully. Things that are helping me, obviously are prayers. I've been digging in the Word and continuing to pursue God's best for us, for me, through all of this. Our church family continues to inspire me, encourage me and remind me of God's goodness, mercy, plan, and grace over us. They are awesome!! Nick is excited to get out of town for a day or so and is glad to finally be able to get to a couple of appts with me. We are so blessed to have had the Glass Doctor fundraiser be such a success and that has helped Nick not feel so strapped about missing work, financially etc. So I am thankful that he is positive and ready to take us down there and be that support I need in those moments that get hard. No one can replace him, but my sister sure was the best next to him in the last couple of trips. THANK YOU SISSY! I am getting excited, because I am choosing to set aside fear and anxiety and focus on the fact that WE HAVE A LITTLE BOY COMING!!!! Holy cow! I am excited to have another baby, scared out of my mind at times, but none the less, I am excited to add another little one to our fold, to our legacy, to our silly family. I am ready to see him, hold him and kiss him. :) So many GOOOOOOD things coming through Noah, not just the hard stuff. I am rejoicing in the gift that God has entrusted us with and I can't wait to meet him!
Thanks y'all for support, prayers, love and encouragement!
blessings,
shaina
Monday, August 27, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Prayer update
Hello friends and family.
This last week or so has been trying on me in every way possible. Physically I'm beginning to feel the fatigue and "run down" part of being in the last weeks of pregnancy. Spiritually, I have been in a deep valley of struggle. To be quite honest, I've questioned more in the last week or so than I have since the day we found out of Noah's condition. It has just been getting harder and harder to cling to what I know and not go off of what I feel. I truly feel lonely and scared everyday, at some point during the day. Yet, I KNOW that I'm not. I KNOW that our Father has us guarded and in his graces every step of the way. I feel scattered, worried and nervous. I KNOW that in all things God is working for our good because we love him so much and are called according to his purposes. I KNOW that it will all be ok. some how and some way. I feel as though I can't grasp a hold on anything solid right now. Everything is slipping by me, quickly. I'm running out of time to prepare my home, say "see ya later" to everyone, prepare myself in any way at all to be gone from here for over a month. Ava has two medical appts of her own that have to be rescheduled so we can get them done before we leave. Easier said than done. Her 15 month check up might not be too hard to reschedule, but her VCUG test which is to see about her kidney reflux she has had since she was tiny, is a procedure at BSA and it is not as easy to get rescheduled now that we have 2 weeks til we leave and part of one of those weeks we will be in ft worth for appts. My mind is full. My load is heavy. (yes, I KNOW that I can and should allow Christ to take these burdens and I do) There are moments though, when as a responsible adult I have to do my part and get things figured out by calling, rescheduling, etc etc. It gets tiresome. I come to y'all as honestly as I can because I do not want people to think I am some superhero of a person who is just whizzing through this process as miss "super christian" who never struggles and who isn't scared. I am terrified at times of going through the last few weeks of pregnancy alone (without nick to me is alone, even though I know I'll have support) I am running out of energy to keep up with Ava all the time and I will have her for those last few weeks. I don't want to go to appts at cook's and at my dr's in ft worth, by myself, I don't want to figure out ft worth traffic alone with a toddler. I just don't want to do any of this. YET, I want to meet my Noah. I want to know him and see him and hold him and I want to get him through this enormous battle ahead. I want to be strong and be the mommy he needs as well as the strong mommy Ava needs even though I won't be able to "do" much for her for many weeks.
I hope that I will be able to find a few things to do for those couple of waiting weeks before we deliver. I am thinking a mani/pedi for sure and a few other outings. I also know that I am going to need to be alone with Ava at times, to just soak her up, to rest and to try to take things a day at a time.
So, all of my whining and dishing out my honest feelings here.... I obviously need prayers. I know many of you pray for us so much and I just keep asking for them. But, I don't know what else to ask and your prayers are powerful. I know there are times when I am so weary that someone is praying for us and I can rely on those prayers during my weak times.
So here are some concerns that I have that I would love for you to pray for. Please.
-My hormonal emotional ups and downs. (i know they are normal, but they seem to be on the rise and much more frequent the closer we get to leaving)
- overall health and trying to stay comfortable these last weeks (especially keeping up with Ava)
- I sound really pitiful here, but I have not spent more than a couple of days away from Nick and never with a little one by myself. I'm not looking forward to that at all.
- pray for our sweet hosts - nick's cousin and her husband. Please pray blessing over them for opening up their home to us during this time.
- getting Ava's medical needs taken care of before we leave. I do not want her to be forgotten or pushed to the back burner because of all this coming up. Please pray we can get them rescheduled in time.
-continue to pray for God's healing over our sweet Noah. Whether through miraculous healing or through surgical means, I ask and ask that you pray that Noah will have healing over his body.
Pray that his body will be strong for surgery, that his lungs and systems will be ready for the trauma of it all, pray for his body as he will be on bypass for many hours for surgery, pray for him to not be on a ventilator any longer than needed, that he will begin to eat properly at the right time, that he will not have any digestive issues, that he will be able to have the functioning heart and valves etc he needs to get the oxygen to the rest of his body in order to eat, etc. Pray that He does not have complications during surgery, pray for no needs for heart cath, balloon procedures, for no cardiac emergencies, etc.
-pray for me to be able to pump and produce milk for Noah. I know it sounds weird, but please please pray for supply. I have the need to "do" something for Noah and this is something I can do.
-pray for the medical teams who will be taking care of noah
-pray for family coming down and being there for a time.
-for Ava and her well being as I am "unavailable"
-for Nick during the time Ava and I are gone, until he gets down there. For Nick and Ava as they come back to Amarillo before Noah and I get home.
Right now, I just feel that these things are the things that weigh me down and could be lifted up in prayer. Thank you so much. I don't know how else to show appreciation for your prayers other than thank you.
For those of you reading this, who would like to come to Noah's baby shower....it is Sept 8th at 10:00am at 1111 Pikes Peak (off of south washington) please comment, email me or fb message me and let me know if you can attend. I'd love to see everyone before we leave. If for some reason we have to leave before then I will let everyone know if it is rescheduled or cancelled.
Thank you all again for prayers, words of encouragement and letting me be honest about my struggle and feelings with it all. Trust me, God has been working in me and I have been more in the Word and in communion with him than ever. Figures huh. I am just thankful he lets us go through times of up and down, but he never turns us down when we come to him.
I suppose that is all for our update right now. Looks like september 8 or 9th we will be leaving. I will be taking a laptop with me and will update often as possible for everyone.
much love,
shaina
This last week or so has been trying on me in every way possible. Physically I'm beginning to feel the fatigue and "run down" part of being in the last weeks of pregnancy. Spiritually, I have been in a deep valley of struggle. To be quite honest, I've questioned more in the last week or so than I have since the day we found out of Noah's condition. It has just been getting harder and harder to cling to what I know and not go off of what I feel. I truly feel lonely and scared everyday, at some point during the day. Yet, I KNOW that I'm not. I KNOW that our Father has us guarded and in his graces every step of the way. I feel scattered, worried and nervous. I KNOW that in all things God is working for our good because we love him so much and are called according to his purposes. I KNOW that it will all be ok. some how and some way. I feel as though I can't grasp a hold on anything solid right now. Everything is slipping by me, quickly. I'm running out of time to prepare my home, say "see ya later" to everyone, prepare myself in any way at all to be gone from here for over a month. Ava has two medical appts of her own that have to be rescheduled so we can get them done before we leave. Easier said than done. Her 15 month check up might not be too hard to reschedule, but her VCUG test which is to see about her kidney reflux she has had since she was tiny, is a procedure at BSA and it is not as easy to get rescheduled now that we have 2 weeks til we leave and part of one of those weeks we will be in ft worth for appts. My mind is full. My load is heavy. (yes, I KNOW that I can and should allow Christ to take these burdens and I do) There are moments though, when as a responsible adult I have to do my part and get things figured out by calling, rescheduling, etc etc. It gets tiresome. I come to y'all as honestly as I can because I do not want people to think I am some superhero of a person who is just whizzing through this process as miss "super christian" who never struggles and who isn't scared. I am terrified at times of going through the last few weeks of pregnancy alone (without nick to me is alone, even though I know I'll have support) I am running out of energy to keep up with Ava all the time and I will have her for those last few weeks. I don't want to go to appts at cook's and at my dr's in ft worth, by myself, I don't want to figure out ft worth traffic alone with a toddler. I just don't want to do any of this. YET, I want to meet my Noah. I want to know him and see him and hold him and I want to get him through this enormous battle ahead. I want to be strong and be the mommy he needs as well as the strong mommy Ava needs even though I won't be able to "do" much for her for many weeks.
I hope that I will be able to find a few things to do for those couple of waiting weeks before we deliver. I am thinking a mani/pedi for sure and a few other outings. I also know that I am going to need to be alone with Ava at times, to just soak her up, to rest and to try to take things a day at a time.
So, all of my whining and dishing out my honest feelings here.... I obviously need prayers. I know many of you pray for us so much and I just keep asking for them. But, I don't know what else to ask and your prayers are powerful. I know there are times when I am so weary that someone is praying for us and I can rely on those prayers during my weak times.
So here are some concerns that I have that I would love for you to pray for. Please.
-My hormonal emotional ups and downs. (i know they are normal, but they seem to be on the rise and much more frequent the closer we get to leaving)
- overall health and trying to stay comfortable these last weeks (especially keeping up with Ava)
- I sound really pitiful here, but I have not spent more than a couple of days away from Nick and never with a little one by myself. I'm not looking forward to that at all.
- pray for our sweet hosts - nick's cousin and her husband. Please pray blessing over them for opening up their home to us during this time.
- getting Ava's medical needs taken care of before we leave. I do not want her to be forgotten or pushed to the back burner because of all this coming up. Please pray we can get them rescheduled in time.
-continue to pray for God's healing over our sweet Noah. Whether through miraculous healing or through surgical means, I ask and ask that you pray that Noah will have healing over his body.
Pray that his body will be strong for surgery, that his lungs and systems will be ready for the trauma of it all, pray for his body as he will be on bypass for many hours for surgery, pray for him to not be on a ventilator any longer than needed, that he will begin to eat properly at the right time, that he will not have any digestive issues, that he will be able to have the functioning heart and valves etc he needs to get the oxygen to the rest of his body in order to eat, etc. Pray that He does not have complications during surgery, pray for no needs for heart cath, balloon procedures, for no cardiac emergencies, etc.
-pray for me to be able to pump and produce milk for Noah. I know it sounds weird, but please please pray for supply. I have the need to "do" something for Noah and this is something I can do.
-pray for the medical teams who will be taking care of noah
-pray for family coming down and being there for a time.
-for Ava and her well being as I am "unavailable"
-for Nick during the time Ava and I are gone, until he gets down there. For Nick and Ava as they come back to Amarillo before Noah and I get home.
Right now, I just feel that these things are the things that weigh me down and could be lifted up in prayer. Thank you so much. I don't know how else to show appreciation for your prayers other than thank you.
For those of you reading this, who would like to come to Noah's baby shower....it is Sept 8th at 10:00am at 1111 Pikes Peak (off of south washington) please comment, email me or fb message me and let me know if you can attend. I'd love to see everyone before we leave. If for some reason we have to leave before then I will let everyone know if it is rescheduled or cancelled.
Thank you all again for prayers, words of encouragement and letting me be honest about my struggle and feelings with it all. Trust me, God has been working in me and I have been more in the Word and in communion with him than ever. Figures huh. I am just thankful he lets us go through times of up and down, but he never turns us down when we come to him.
I suppose that is all for our update right now. Looks like september 8 or 9th we will be leaving. I will be taking a laptop with me and will update often as possible for everyone.
much love,
shaina
Friday, August 17, 2012
Friday is a good day for nesting.
Seriously though. Fridays make a great day for nesting...because it gives me the entire weekend to veg out, enjoy my hubby, play with my daughter, cook sunday lunch for my family and even get in a little bit of work and of course enjoy fellowship and worship with my FLC family. WEEEEE!
This week has been a rough one for this wife/mommy. We got back into town from an amazing wedding weekend on Sunday evening and Monday was a decent day of getting back into the swing of things, but as the day went on, I felt the hormones and mind full of anxiety coming through and I knew a battle was coming on. I hate those days that I struggle to keep a dry eye and can only seem to focus on the frustrating and scary things ahead. I try my best to get my head out of the mud and see clearly, but it is harder than I ever thought possible during times of wondering how things are going to go, imagining being away from home for months, etc etc. I just couldn't get out of the funk that satan was trying so hard to keep me in. Yet, I pressed on, pressed in and got into the Word. Thank God for his Word. Thank him and praise him and of course that is why I could climb out of the hole and keep going. :)
So today came and I took the girls to breakfast at mcdonalds, went to the dollar tree to get jada a dry erase board and stickers to decorate it for her locker, went to United and got groceries for the weekend and when we got home I had this urge to get things done. It was great. My entire house is picked up. (minus my bathroom, because it is my least favorite and I always procrastinate on it)haha. The kitchen is sparkling, the utility/office area is picked up and organized, the living room is picked up and vacuumed, the bedroom is picked up and the laundry is done. Well, the last load is in the dryer. :) I get to go to bed in just a bit with a huge feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction and I love it.
So we had pizza for dinner, watched pre-season football, played with Ava, chased Ava, got on to Ava for touching things she shouldn't haha, then watched We Bought a Zoo and tomorrow is going to be just as great! I work in the morning, but then Nick and I are going to finally go see the new Batman, go to dinner and go find him some new tennis shoes. I say it like tenny shoes though. haha. :) Ava is going to go see her nana and that means we get some time to ourself.
Sunday we're going to go to church and then we're having roast, carrots and potatoes with salad and rolls for lunch. My parents and my PawPaw are coming over for lunch to enjoy it with us. We'll probably swim some with Katrina and James and then try to chill out before a new week.
Bed for now. I just had to express my excitement and love for weekends that start out so wonderfully because I was productive on Friday. :) I should try to do it more often. haha.
so, pointless, random post is finished. Maybe the next post will actually have some interesting information. :)
blessings
shaina
This week has been a rough one for this wife/mommy. We got back into town from an amazing wedding weekend on Sunday evening and Monday was a decent day of getting back into the swing of things, but as the day went on, I felt the hormones and mind full of anxiety coming through and I knew a battle was coming on. I hate those days that I struggle to keep a dry eye and can only seem to focus on the frustrating and scary things ahead. I try my best to get my head out of the mud and see clearly, but it is harder than I ever thought possible during times of wondering how things are going to go, imagining being away from home for months, etc etc. I just couldn't get out of the funk that satan was trying so hard to keep me in. Yet, I pressed on, pressed in and got into the Word. Thank God for his Word. Thank him and praise him and of course that is why I could climb out of the hole and keep going. :)
So today came and I took the girls to breakfast at mcdonalds, went to the dollar tree to get jada a dry erase board and stickers to decorate it for her locker, went to United and got groceries for the weekend and when we got home I had this urge to get things done. It was great. My entire house is picked up. (minus my bathroom, because it is my least favorite and I always procrastinate on it)haha. The kitchen is sparkling, the utility/office area is picked up and organized, the living room is picked up and vacuumed, the bedroom is picked up and the laundry is done. Well, the last load is in the dryer. :) I get to go to bed in just a bit with a huge feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction and I love it.
So we had pizza for dinner, watched pre-season football, played with Ava, chased Ava, got on to Ava for touching things she shouldn't haha, then watched We Bought a Zoo and tomorrow is going to be just as great! I work in the morning, but then Nick and I are going to finally go see the new Batman, go to dinner and go find him some new tennis shoes. I say it like tenny shoes though. haha. :) Ava is going to go see her nana and that means we get some time to ourself.
Sunday we're going to go to church and then we're having roast, carrots and potatoes with salad and rolls for lunch. My parents and my PawPaw are coming over for lunch to enjoy it with us. We'll probably swim some with Katrina and James and then try to chill out before a new week.
Bed for now. I just had to express my excitement and love for weekends that start out so wonderfully because I was productive on Friday. :) I should try to do it more often. haha.
so, pointless, random post is finished. Maybe the next post will actually have some interesting information. :)
blessings
shaina
Sunday, August 12, 2012
A Legacy of "Love"ly
This weekend was wonderful. (a lot of time in the car, but none the less). Friday was a whirlwind of getting packed and the house cleaned, followed by hitting the road and getting to Ft. Worth pretty late. Ava was not thrilled with being in the car for so long and then going to "sleep" in a new place. She was clingy and ended up sleeping in the full size bed with Nick and I for a few hours. ugh. Not comfortable. She ended up doing ok the rest of the night in the pack and play. Saturday was nice as we hung out at Nick's cousin's house and let Ava "get used" to it a little bit since her and I will be spending a lot of time there before Noah is born. We were treated to a yummy meal by Nick's cousin's son who has been in culinary school recently. It was wonderful and we packed up and headed to Belton for Tracie's wedding. We rushed to the hotel, got ready, rushed to the church and finally were able to sit down and soak in the "wedding". I sat in the church and took in all the beauty, the candles, the ambiance present (Holy Spirit for sure), listened to the beautiful music and awaited the entrance of the family and our sweet cousin. As soon as I took a glimpse of my precious and beautiful Aunt Linda, I had tears. You see, Linda has recently survived a bout with breast cancer and has conquered, beautifully I might add, all the surgery, chemo and radiation that comes along with it. Her faith, her strength, her and Robert's marriage, her children's love for her, all of it just radiated and glowed about her as she soaked up the special time in their life, as she and Robert came down to "give" Tracie to Andrew. I just shed tears as I realized the caliber of women I get to call family. She is the most graceful fighter, patient warrior and lovely survivor. I am blessed to call her MY Aunt Linda. I then thought back to my wedding and all she helped with, the fact that Robbie and Tracie and Staci were all my bridesmaids and how my Mom looked a lot like Linda did, when I got married. Happy, relieved it was almost over with (haha), blessed, full of love and pride, and yet just a little bit emotional (each in her own way) over the fact that their daughter was getting married. So, then Robbie comes down the aisle as the matron (yes, robbie, you're married it's matron) haha, of honor. She has been married a little over a year now and you can tell she has come into her role as wife, in the most fun and lovely way in her own Robbie style. She walked down the aisle in confidence, humble pride (make sense?) and gentle emotion. She caught a glimpse of her own hubby and he saw her, they shared their own moment, which was sweet. :) She then went to her spot and waited as the doors shut and we all anticipated the best moment of the wedding, just about....Tracie's entrance. The doors open and I catch her face, glowing with purity and beauty, Robbie's face with pride, emotion and joyful tears, and Andrew's face anticipating getting to touch his bride and begin life's journey. Robert was proud and sturdy ( as my own daddy was with me) and He "gave" her away with confidence because he and Linda have raised Tracie in the Word and it has shown in her whole life, especially in whom the Lord has chosen for her. I just sat there soaking in all the "loveliness" and basking in how AMAZING our Lord is and how is has BLESSED our family beyond words. I can try my best, in this manner, to explain to you how proud I am, blessed I am and privileged I am to be a part of it. Each woman in my Byrd family has their own unique way of being a blessing in my life. Gran (Carolyn) is our prayer warrior, constantly in prayer for us all, calling to check in and being generally concerned at all times for our well beings. :) Linda has her way of "worrying" and yet living in faith and with poise. She has raised 3 amazing people and has cultivated a home of warmth and love. My Mom, well, she is my mom. So, first of all, she is wonderful, but she adds to our family, a level of faith, a means to just be us, and a creativity that is personal to each of us. Whether it is handmade jammies for Christmas, letting Tracie "uncrunch" her hair, or sewing 230 yards of lace together for decorations, she gives us each her undivided attention when we need it. She is committed to love us in our own ways. Robbie is my goofy, silly, laughy, fun loving, easy going gal and she keeps me smiling, always. Yet, she has a maturity to her, her faith, her marriage (even being a young marriage), her career, her submissive spirit as a wife, her love for her family, her loyalty and care for others, etc. She inspires me to continue to love all and worship one. Robbie has begun to cultivate a home of laughter, joy, service, love and fun. I love it! I cannot WAIT to see how God blesses her and Coach John, with children. They will all light up our life I'm sure of it. Staci, my sissy, is the risk taker, adventurer and loves to know more, be better and go further. She doesn't want to settle. Ever. She reminds me to take risks and jump off the cliff more often. She allows me to be me, to love me anyway and gives me the space to deepen my faith through my humanity, not despite it. She has been a rock for me and as she waits upon the Lord and trusts him as she strives to not settle in any part of her life. I often think of who God has in store for her, because he is going to be someone special, for sure. For many reasons, I mean, come on, someone has to put up with all the random outbursts of song, silly noises she makes while we all play a game, the "staci-isms" she continually creates and to further nurture her love for people. It will be another beautiful day to share, someday. I don't doubt it one bit. :) Lastly, but not least, Tracie Layne. My blond haired blue eyed baby doll (until I birthed my own) haha. She has always been prissy, lovely, sweet, full of feminine appeal from the smallest age. She dabbled in play makeup, gran's flowy dress up clothes, longed to wear makeup and ate salads instead of happy meals from as far back as I can remember. I have loved watching Tracie grow into her femininity and womanhood as she went through surgery for her scoliosis, became a cheerleader (and maintained her modesty and beautiful personality), did theatre, choir etc. and as God has given her a heart for the adoption field of social work, etc. She has always had a DEEP care for people, for others, for her family, her siblings, her friends. She has shown the side of lovely that many girls choose to stifle and some not even develop all together. She has lived in grace and poised, a lot like her mom and as she steps into wife-hood, I know she will cultivate a home of deep love, nurturing and laughter. Her children will rise and called her blessed. Just as she does her own mom.
Our family has been blessed by loveliness. I truly love the Byrd women. There are more than my immediate Byrd women who show God's loveliness, love for family, their husbands, home, children, service and ministry. But, for now, these close women, who support me, who have and continue to pray for me, who are standing by me as we face one of the hardest battles in my life, yet. Their strength and faith, keep me going, remind me to not give up and inspire me to be the best woman, wife, mother, sister and friend I can be.
So, thank you Gran, Linda, Mother, Robbie, Staci, and Tracie. I love you each, dearly. I long for the evenings we can sit around Linda's table and laugh our heads off. I cherish all the memories we've made in each season of life. I can't wait to read through our box of letters to Gran and Daddy Bob next time we're in the mountains. I love that we are all so close and can go months without much conversation and yet feel like we never skipped a beat. I love each of you and I am thankful that I have y'all in my life.
be blessed Byrd women.
naina
Our family has been blessed by loveliness. I truly love the Byrd women. There are more than my immediate Byrd women who show God's loveliness, love for family, their husbands, home, children, service and ministry. But, for now, these close women, who support me, who have and continue to pray for me, who are standing by me as we face one of the hardest battles in my life, yet. Their strength and faith, keep me going, remind me to not give up and inspire me to be the best woman, wife, mother, sister and friend I can be.
So, thank you Gran, Linda, Mother, Robbie, Staci, and Tracie. I love you each, dearly. I long for the evenings we can sit around Linda's table and laugh our heads off. I cherish all the memories we've made in each season of life. I can't wait to read through our box of letters to Gran and Daddy Bob next time we're in the mountains. I love that we are all so close and can go months without much conversation and yet feel like we never skipped a beat. I love each of you and I am thankful that I have y'all in my life.
be blessed Byrd women.
naina
Sunday, August 5, 2012
A Great Weekend
I have felt a blog coming on most of the day because a Facebook status doesn't cut it and I figured everyone in my contact list didn't want a mass text exclaiming how amazing this weekend has been. Even with a work shift on saturday, this weekend has been wonderful! Friday night I was pleasantly surprised by my best friend, while in the bath, mind you. Yes, I hear a knock on the bathroom door and then this sweet voice saying, "hello"! haha! I was like, "seriously?? Is that you?" I was so surprised and was SOOO in need of a Lauren chat/catch up session and Ava was just enamoured with seeing her Loo! Nick was even so happy and surprised he had a priceless look on his face when he opened the front door she said. haha! So, Friday evening at home turned into an even more wonderful night with a sweet blessing like that! :) Saturday started rough, mainly because I had to work at 7am, but I got off early and was able to come home to a hubby who was busy at painting the kids' room and he made me go to bed for awhile to rest. :) I got in our room, turned on the Olympics, turned off the lights, got the fan going and just rested for hours. It was wonderful. Ava was with her aunt Trina all day and so there was not a little wild thing to chase around. Such a wonderful break. I soaked it up and then went to practice and worship service. After that, Nick and I got a small date time, so we went to Chic Fil A and our sweet friend Sandra that works there surprised us with a free meal. Such a sweet blessing and it made our night! We picked up Ava and finished out the evening at home. Today has been wonderful as well, with church, family lunch together as a threesome, checked on mom and dad's cats since their gone and then came home and finished up odds and ends (well, nick finished some painting and got some plumbing work done) amazing hubby. I got things picked up and then we re-arranged the living room. I must add here, that Nick realllly enjoys moving furniture around, as much as I do. It is an AWESOME attribute that he has and I just love it. We have rearranged the furniture in 3 rooms in the last 2 weeks. Talk about nesting! Nick has just blown me away this weekend with all his hard work and motivation. He is #1 nester hubby! haha
This week is going to be FULL, but wonderful! We get to have maternity pictures done tomorrow evening as well as going to the Sox game with our best friends!! Yay!! I have a dr appt on wednesday as well as a work shift. We leave friday as soon as nick gets off work, to get to ft worth to stay with nick's cousin over night and then on to Belton on Saturday for Tracie Layne's wedding! yay! I am excited to pack us up and have a road trip that does not include a hospital or dr appt. :)
So, I rambled enough about nothing I know, but I just need this place to unload and unwind sometimes. I have been able to spend some quality time in the Word and I have been able to journal as well. Just various verses here and there, are all coming together exactly when I need them and how I need them. God's word IS alive and active. It is amazing to let it soak in and do it's work.
I really don't have anything specific to blog about, obviously, just this random jumble of an update. I do know that God has used a bridge of a worship song this weekend, to once again remind me of His sovereignty and grace over us during this adventure he has us on.
This week is going to be FULL, but wonderful! We get to have maternity pictures done tomorrow evening as well as going to the Sox game with our best friends!! Yay!! I have a dr appt on wednesday as well as a work shift. We leave friday as soon as nick gets off work, to get to ft worth to stay with nick's cousin over night and then on to Belton on Saturday for Tracie Layne's wedding! yay! I am excited to pack us up and have a road trip that does not include a hospital or dr appt. :)
So, I rambled enough about nothing I know, but I just need this place to unload and unwind sometimes. I have been able to spend some quality time in the Word and I have been able to journal as well. Just various verses here and there, are all coming together exactly when I need them and how I need them. God's word IS alive and active. It is amazing to let it soak in and do it's work.
I really don't have anything specific to blog about, obviously, just this random jumble of an update. I do know that God has used a bridge of a worship song this weekend, to once again remind me of His sovereignty and grace over us during this adventure he has us on.
I may be weak
But your Spirit's strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will
I just cling to that so much right now. I hope it sinks in for you as well.
blessings,
shaina
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Odds and Ends
Well, life has begun to settle back in for a few weeks...until we go back to Ft.Worth for the next set of appts. I was able to get so much accomplished today, I have to brag somewhere...I was able to get Ava's reading corner cleaned up, vacuumed, the bay window cleaned out, the living room vacuumed, our bedroom picked up, dishes done, kitchen picked up, laundry done, phone calls made, appts switched around, my mom and sister helped me get the kid's room furniture rearranged. Now, I can feel it all. haha. We ended up going to Leal's for dinner and then Walmart. Home is feeling nice as we are watching olympics, Ava is running around playing and just being her silly self, and life is good tonight. I am just thankful in this moment for home, for my husband, my daughter, my bouncy son inside and the simplicity of the moment itself. No hospitals, no dr appts, no traveling, no being apart, no anxiety...just stillness and closeness. I soak it up, knowing it won't last for long. For a time we will not have this. I know we will get it back, and it will be even better with our sweet Noah at home with us later in the fall. What a time that will be. I can't wait to have both babies, hubby and myself in our home, in the quiet of the evening, loving on each other and just being together. I know we will get there. There is SO much to get through before then, but I know God has us in his hands and this night will come again, even better than it is now.
So until then I soak up tonight, pray for tomorrow and know that this road has been prepared and the way is set before us. Thank you Lord
So until then I soak up tonight, pray for tomorrow and know that this road has been prepared and the way is set before us. Thank you Lord
Saturday, July 28, 2012
the latest
What a week. I mean, this time last week I was home from a day of saying goodbye to my mimi as she entered heaven that morning. The next few days were a whirlwind of family, plans, meals, arrangements, services, etc. A day of partial rest and then the next day I left for Ft. Worth. I made it to Wichita Falls on Thursday evening and Staci and I ate at Genghis Grill. :) be jealous. so yummy! We rested and got up early for Ft Worth on Friday. We made it in great time and even had no trouble with parking, finding our way around and getting where we needed to be. We're a good team. :) We were even early. We got to the Echo appt and things went fine. Dr. Roten, our cardiologist confirmed the HPLH diagnosis, which I expected. She said that everything looks routine at this point. She was able to give me a decent outlook on the process we will go through from birth through the second surgery. She expained just how serious this surgery will be and all the recovery, etc. She didn't sugar coat any of it, but she was go gentle in the way she explained it all. I was so thankful for such detail and for, as hard as it was to hear, all the difficult details as well. No parent wants to hear that their baby will have open heart surgery, no parent wants to have to watch their little one suffer, fight for their life as they recover from that surgery and not be able to "do" anything. I won't go through the whole list of details and process that will occur, because you will live it with us as it happens. For now, I can tell you that the first month of his life is going to be a WILD ride. Lots of things happen in the first month, from birth, surgery, recovery, feedings, etc. We will come home at some point after that month and we will have a whole new lifestyle that includes daily O2 saturation checks, weight check, feedings with most likely a button for at least the first 6 months of life, possibly a year, depending on how he does learning a bottle. There are lots of little details that we will just come to at that point in his life. We will most likely deliver at 39 weeks, he will end up having his surgery within 3-4 days of his birth. Recovery in the hospital will be at a minimum a month. My recovery, I believe will be much easier than with Ava. So far I have had great blood pressure, little to no swelling and little weight gain at all. so happy! I think my recovery will be remarkably easier and for that I am thankful. I can be all I can be for my baby boy.
Nick, Ava and I are going to be going down to Ft. Worth together for the next appt. We will meet the surgeon, Dr. Tam and see Dr. Roten again as well as my doctor, Dr. Howard. We will get a tour of the hospitals, have more questions answered and discuss when I will be staying in ft. worth for good before delivery. Most likely, I will be going down to stay at around 36 weeks. He'll be delivered at 39 weeks, so not too much of a stay before he's born. Dr. Roten's office is calling the Ronald McDonald house for us to get us on the waiting list so that we will have a "home" away from home for awhile. We will be staying with some sweet family before he is born and I know some of our family from here will stay with them as well, when we get a place at the RMcD House. I can stay at the NICU as much as I want, but they suggest, for obvious reasons, to be close by but at a place where I can get away and not be at the hospital sometimes.
So many new details, information and things to anticipate. I have been able to go through things in my head and digest most of the information we were given this last visit. I struggle sometimes with the "why us", "why my child" "why me", why why why Lord. What is it that we did that would allowus to have to deal with this and yet in the same breath, I praise Him for finding Nick and myself worthy of parenting such an amazing little boy, who has already touched many lives. I struggle with doubt and wondering if I will be strong enough to make it through all of this, will I be able to be a good mommy to both of these precious babies with all the technical stuff we will have to take care of? I could go on and on about all the doubts and questions, but I keep finding that God doesn't have answers for all my questions right now, but he has lessons to be learned in all of them. I WILL learn from this. Noah will not remember a thing about this, but he will have a mommy throughout his life who will be better and empowered through this experience. Nothing about this road we are on will be easy, but it will all be worth it. At some point in our life, each of the hurdles we are facing will be proven worth it, by the knowledge, experience and lessons we will have gained. I know I am scared at times and constantly nervous about all the little things I can't control, but I am finding comfort in the fact that I have never been in a better place with Lord in my life. No doubt. I am relying on him, seeking him and asking for all I can get from him to learn and gain His peace in all of this. I know he loves me to seek him and I love to be close to him and feel his comfort.
Here are some things I ask for prayers for.
continued health for myself and noah.
nick to be able to get off work when needed at various times.
for Ava to continue to develope and grow wonderfully- even through all the craziness.
travel and time spent in ft worth before Noah's birth, for Ava and I. For nick as he is back here at home during that time.
For Dr. Tam (surgeon) and Dr. Roten (cardiologist) Dr. Howard (OBgyn) staff of both hospitals.
That noah's body will be devinely prepared and ready for all the turmoil of surgery and recovery.
continued wisdom and peace.
finances, obviously. haha
For all the people who have and will be touched by our son Noah and his testimony. May God be glorified and honored through Noah and our family. May people come to know Christ through our son's journey. Noah means "peace" and even when things get tough and hard to swallow, God has covered my mind and heart with peace. I know his name is no accident.
Thank you all for continuing on this journey with us. Your prayers and support make this bearable. I still can't believe this is happening to us, it all still seems surreal in many ways, but I know that it will all become very real very soon.
love you all. Thank you so much again.
shaina
Nick, Ava and I are going to be going down to Ft. Worth together for the next appt. We will meet the surgeon, Dr. Tam and see Dr. Roten again as well as my doctor, Dr. Howard. We will get a tour of the hospitals, have more questions answered and discuss when I will be staying in ft. worth for good before delivery. Most likely, I will be going down to stay at around 36 weeks. He'll be delivered at 39 weeks, so not too much of a stay before he's born. Dr. Roten's office is calling the Ronald McDonald house for us to get us on the waiting list so that we will have a "home" away from home for awhile. We will be staying with some sweet family before he is born and I know some of our family from here will stay with them as well, when we get a place at the RMcD House. I can stay at the NICU as much as I want, but they suggest, for obvious reasons, to be close by but at a place where I can get away and not be at the hospital sometimes.
So many new details, information and things to anticipate. I have been able to go through things in my head and digest most of the information we were given this last visit. I struggle sometimes with the "why us", "why my child" "why me", why why why Lord. What is it that we did that would allowus to have to deal with this and yet in the same breath, I praise Him for finding Nick and myself worthy of parenting such an amazing little boy, who has already touched many lives. I struggle with doubt and wondering if I will be strong enough to make it through all of this, will I be able to be a good mommy to both of these precious babies with all the technical stuff we will have to take care of? I could go on and on about all the doubts and questions, but I keep finding that God doesn't have answers for all my questions right now, but he has lessons to be learned in all of them. I WILL learn from this. Noah will not remember a thing about this, but he will have a mommy throughout his life who will be better and empowered through this experience. Nothing about this road we are on will be easy, but it will all be worth it. At some point in our life, each of the hurdles we are facing will be proven worth it, by the knowledge, experience and lessons we will have gained. I know I am scared at times and constantly nervous about all the little things I can't control, but I am finding comfort in the fact that I have never been in a better place with Lord in my life. No doubt. I am relying on him, seeking him and asking for all I can get from him to learn and gain His peace in all of this. I know he loves me to seek him and I love to be close to him and feel his comfort.
Here are some things I ask for prayers for.
continued health for myself and noah.
nick to be able to get off work when needed at various times.
for Ava to continue to develope and grow wonderfully- even through all the craziness.
travel and time spent in ft worth before Noah's birth, for Ava and I. For nick as he is back here at home during that time.
For Dr. Tam (surgeon) and Dr. Roten (cardiologist) Dr. Howard (OBgyn) staff of both hospitals.
That noah's body will be devinely prepared and ready for all the turmoil of surgery and recovery.
continued wisdom and peace.
finances, obviously. haha
For all the people who have and will be touched by our son Noah and his testimony. May God be glorified and honored through Noah and our family. May people come to know Christ through our son's journey. Noah means "peace" and even when things get tough and hard to swallow, God has covered my mind and heart with peace. I know his name is no accident.
Thank you all for continuing on this journey with us. Your prayers and support make this bearable. I still can't believe this is happening to us, it all still seems surreal in many ways, but I know that it will all become very real very soon.
love you all. Thank you so much again.
shaina
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)